They say that he is jealous - that means he loves. But sometimes jealousy becomes so strong that there is no place for love. It is impossible to insult, humiliate, hit a loved one! Love is not aggressive. Aggressive jealousy. What is the danger of jealousy, and why not let it grow in the soul, killing love?
Jealousy is a tyrannical feeling. No wonder they say that from jealous grooms indifferent husbands are obtained, and from jealous brides - hateful wives. Love makes you happy, jealousy makes you miserable. If jealousy prevailed in a man, then his heart left love, which is expressed in trust, in the wish of happiness. Jealousy is not based on love, but on a multifaceted inferiority complex - a mixture of distrust, pride, knowingly defeat and possessive feelings, which in advance defines a person as a thing, depriving him of the right to be himself. And when this emotion grows and takes on painful features - the preservation of relationships in general is called into question. Not everyone can endure daily jealousy scenes.
Jealousy is often manifested in the manic search for "evidence", which in fact is not related to real betrayal. A person engulfed in jealousy subconsciously wants to make sure that he is right, to make sure of the worst assumptions. It seems to the jealous that “having brought him to clean water” and subjecting the partner to his own peace of mind, he will find the lost harmony. Alas, everything happens exactly the opposite. Jealous in the desire to control a partner goes further, leading the relationship to a standstill. Under the pressure of jealousy on the part of the partner, a person loses the ability for sincere relationships, closes, becomes secretive. Therefore, husbands or wives lying to their "halves" most often appear where there is jealousy.
Jealousy is blind, and the logic of a jealous person is often absurd. Jealous seeks to spoil the mood of those who are close, endless "interrogations with addiction", whims, emotional outbursts of negativity. A jealous person is inclined to blame a loved one not only for real misconduct, but also for imaginary, if not entirely fictitious sins! After all, the imagination of a jealous person sometimes becomes monstrous.
Calm explanations of certain imaginary crimes do not work on a jealous person. The arguments of the mind are reluctantly taken into account, any circumstance is considered through a magnifying glass, and insignificant details are perceived as fatal circumstances. The real state of things is seen in a distorted light. The devil of jealousy turns "a fly into an elephant", disfigures in the eyes of a jealous man the object of his love, and those who are absolutely not involved in the conflict conceived by a jealous man.
If a person’s life is occupied by a jealous partner, constantly spying and looking for evidence of infidelity, there is depression, or even “flying in a dream and in reality, ” lies, concealing the truth, and searching for perfumes. If you understand, then annoying “halves” usually push them towards cheating on spouses or partners, who unceremoniously revise the life of a loved one, often losing their sense of proportion in words and actions, which pushes the partner away from themselves. If mutual love or affection is strong - the one who has been tortured by jealousy goes into himself, “folds his wings”, becomes internally indifferent to his own life, and sometimes falls into a sluggish and almost invisible to others depression. So relationships, poisoned by jealousy, give birth to losers, destroy a career, deprive a person of creative manifestations, and in the end - make a partner internally lonely and unhappy. Such a person loses the ability to love. And the painful, dull, destructive loneliness for both begins together, where everyone pulls the strap of family life, forgetting about the joys of life and perceiving daily hassles, and even scandals - for granted.
Love is not only emotional, spiritual and physical affection, but also respect for the personality of another. Jealousy dooms a loved one to disrespect, sometimes very demonstrative, undermining the authority of the individual among others. Obsessed with jealousy, spouses can easily throw an ugly public scuffle, discrediting themselves and their "half" in the eyes of those who turned out to be an unwitting witness to a difficult scene.
Aggressive, entrenched jealousy suppresses positive emotions in a person, makes him suspicious, rude, inflated. A person engulfed in jealousy seeks verbal and physical violence against the personality of another, to humiliate a partner or to humiliate himself - in an attempt to arouse pity, oblige, deprive a free emotional life. And this most often leads to the fact that the “injured” party decides to change their life not only emotionally, but also bodily - committing real betrayal or breaking off relations with an annoying hysterical partner in order to find at least some peace and freedom.
The main problem of a jealous person is his own self-esteem.
The only way is to step aside from your partner and understand: jealousy is a destructive emotion, and when neglected it is a disease. Do not torment him and yourself, it is more productive to deal with the solution of your psychological problems. Turn to a psychologist if jealousy goes off scale, it becomes obvious to others. Put yourself in order externally and internally. Refuse alcohol, which, as you know, provokes conflicts based on old grievances and unfortunate accidents. Devote time to your hobby, find an interesting lesson. In other words, to redirect energy to a positive channel, increase your self-esteem.
Having gained self-esteem, a person becomes self-sufficient, independent - which means that he will value relations with a partner, respect his choice, reckon with his personal space. So, such relations will be more stable, more protected from outside invasion - in the form of a rival or rival, which, as you know, appear where relations have long been cracked.
Of course, all this does not apply to light injections of jealousy, which inevitably mix in a love feeling and serve, rather, as an additional incentive to give the partner confidence that they are not indifferent to him. In addition, slight jealousy keeps the tone in good shape, forcing a person to improve - externally and internally. After all, when you feel that you are close - sensitive, understanding and close person, you don’t really want to look at strangers.