For those who are engaged in the profession of negotiator, these recommendations will be very useful, whether it be a diplomat, a policeman or just a famous person.
For 28 years in a row, Andrei Gromyko was Minister of Foreign Affairs of the USSR - from 1957 to 1985. For his iron grip and the tough manner of negotiating in the international diplomatic environment, he was nicknamed "Mr. No." However, the diplomat himself said that he heard "no" much more often than he said. According to one version, it was on the principles of Gromyko’s work that the basis of the "Kremlin school of negotiators" was based. Its main tenets are as follows: the negotiator is silent and listens; listens and asks; the scale of values is set by one who feels himself the master of negotiations; one who feels that he is a “guest” must make at least one offer that the opponent cannot refuse; want to get "yes", leave the person in the dark.
4 times was held hostage by George Colrizer, an expert in clinical and organizational psychology. Today, George is one of the best negotiators in the world, works as a psychologist in the police and hot spots. Colrizer is also a consultant to Cisco, Hewlett-Packard, iBM, Coca-Cola, iFG, Motorola, Nokia, Nestle, Toyota, Tetra Pack and other world companies. In his best-selling books, you can find many tools for effective negotiations. For example, “make a concession first, ” “make yourself a psychological support for the interlocutor, ” “first learn how to survive the grief of a break in order to be able to form new connections, ” “persuade by arguments and requests, not by manipulation and pressure.”
2400 years there is a rule of negotiations of Socrates. The wise Greek believed that in a conversation the most important point should be announced third in a row. And in the first place to bring simple questions to which the opponent is easiest to answer "yes." Scientists have found that the effectiveness of the formula is dictated by the physiological reactions of the body. If a person says no, the hormones of norepinephrine, which tune in to the fight, enter his blood. And the word "yes" leads to the release of endorphins - "hormones of pleasure." After two servings of endorphins, the interlocutor relaxes, and it becomes easier and easier for him to answer “yes” to the next question.
33 years ago, a book was published by Roger Fisher, William Urey, Bruce Paton "How to achieve yes, or negotiations without defeat." Until now, she is considered one of the best textbooks for negotiators. According to this book, there are three main methods of negotiation. First: Separate people from the problem - only consider the problems discussed and do not focus on people. Second: focus on profit, not position. Third: use objective criteria. A good negotiator takes into account not only the wishes of the other side, but always looks for external standards, references, criteria (law, market price, general practice) that can be used as a convincing argument.
700 spectators of the musical "Nord-Ost" were taken hostage by terrorists in 2002. The first to negotiate with the invaders was Joseph Kobzon. He later said: "I entered - I stand. The bandits are all in masks. Abu Bakar sits in an armchair. I tell them:" Guys, here you come here - the whole world already knows about it. You fulfilled your mission, someone sent you, someone you promised it - you did it
And those people who came with the children to the play, they do not fight - these are peaceful people whom you captured. Give me at least children. Out of respect for me. ”They brought three girls. One buried me:“ There is a mother. ”I say:“ Abu Bakar, why do you need a mother without children, and I have children without a mother? ”He smiles:“ Yes, I feel, that you are not an easy person. "I say, " Of course. "He said, " Bring out their mother to them."
In 1985, significant negotiations took place between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev. Their long conversation was extremely intense and did not lead to anything. After mutual sharp attacks, Reagan was about to leave the room in anger. But he turned around at the door and said: “It doesn’t work. May I call you Michael, and you will call me Ron? I want to talk to you as a man with a man and as the head of state with the head of state. Let's see what we can achieve " In response, Gorbachev extended a hand to Reagan and said: "Hello, Ron." Reagan replied, "Hello Michael." Thus began a friendship that ended only with the death of Reagan. Subsequently, Gorbachev explained: “His words were so convincing that I could not say“ no. ”And we stopped seeing the demonic principle in each other.”