To understand and forgive - this is perhaps the most difficult in human relations, but that is what makes us stronger and wiser. Trying to forgive once, in the future it will be easier for you to understand others and maintain a valuable relationship.
Instruction manual
one
Resentment, which is firmly entrenched in you, can be of two kinds: you are either betrayed by a loved one, or touched a sore spot, knowing about it knowingly. It always hurts, but you must remember that to understand and forgive the other you, first of all, is necessary for yourself. You can continue relations with a person or end any communication with him, but the first thing that should interest you is to remove the dark burden from your heart.
2
Therefore, show love for yourself. Understand that if you accumulate grievances, scroll through them in your head, blame a person - in this way, first of all, you will punish yourself. There is a theory that, being offended, a person agrees with the damage that was inflicted on him, but does not want to admit this to himself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, instead of this - love yourself.
3
Recognize that you have suffered damage, you are offended, it hurts you - fix your feelings as fully as possible. By doing this, you will stop the endless development of these feelings and leave them in the past.
4
To leave them physically in the past, write down your feelings on paper and put a date under the text. A minute has passed - do you understand that all this is already in the past? Now is the time for self-cleaning.
5
Soberly and objectively recall the circumstances in which someone offended you. Write on the sheet. Maybe you will see new details in which the resentment fades somewhat, since the fault of that person will not be so exhaustive.
6
Replace the offender. Even if he turns out to be completely wrong, what guided him, what goals did he pursue? Perhaps he did this from his own weakness, jealousy, poor health, depression - there could be a lot of reasons. Understanding what led him, you can forgive.
7
Talk to the person. Even if he is ashamed or your relationship does not involve dialogue now, it’s important for you to speak to him, admit your feelings, say how much you were hurt by his attitude, and how you did not expect this.
eight
Try to be in the most clear state, do not switch to emotions and do not plunge into resentment again. Imagine that you are describing sensations that are not in you and do not belong to you. Imagine them in front of you in a round vase and describe everything you see.
9
Love helps to understand and forgive, and this applies even to the most unpleasant cases. If your situation is related to a loved one, your love for him will outweigh any grievances and misunderstandings. Therefore, do not hide it, do not block it with dark selfish feelings, forget about aggression and accusations, but just tell yourself and him that you love. And feel it. This one action can lead to magical changes within you. To understand and forgive is difficult and at the same time simple. And here it all depends on you.