Very often, a conflict begins due to the fact that you make an unreasonable claim or accusation. This can happen at work, in the family, in transport, when communicating with friends or acquaintances, and indeed, a conflict can arise simply out of the blue. I sincerely hope that following my instructions, you will with honor come out of any conflict situation.
Instruction manual
one
To get started, practice the ability to never make excuses and not ask people questions. For example, if your opponent or conflicter tells you: "You are abusing our customers!" What is your first and unconscious reaction? That's right, you may ask, "why did you decide so"? or "why did you think so"? After this, the conflicter will publicly prove to you why you are doing this, and will bring the relevant arguments and facts.
Summary: in a conflict situation, never make excuses, do not ask counter-questions and immediately proceed to the first stage of your counterattack!
2
It is necessary to counterattack immediately, not allowing the opponent to come to his senses. However, determine the direction of the attack not on the identity of the conflictor, but on his statements, paraphrasing the latter with exactly the opposite. For instance:
Conflictor: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: "This is superficial and I would say an amateurish statement!"
Thus, by means of a counter statement (and not a question), we destroy the conflict attack at the very beginning, such as, for example, you slam a mosquito that has not yet been able to bite you.
The next stage is aimed at consolidating its dominant position in the conflict. Again, we speak immediately, without letting the opponent insert a word. Let's expand our dialogue:
Conflictor: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: "This is a superficial one and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I am extremely responsible for my duties, and I always carry out work correctly and efficiently!"
Summary: Never explain anything to the aggressor, but instead of excuses, formulate a confident statement that is opposite to the statement of the conflicting party.
3
Now we proceed to the main stage of the counterattack. Bring down on the aggressor a whole set of arguments confirming your case. Back to the dialogue:
Conflictor: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: "This is a superficial one and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I am extremely responsible for my duties, and I always carry out work correctly and efficiently! The following facts indicate this:
1. This month I have been repeatedly awarded by the leadership for excellent work.
2. I regularly fulfill and exceed my personal plan.
3. Leaders set me as an example to other employees and so on.
Summary: you must clearly remember or have at hand the facts confirming your positive qualities or merits.
4
And the last stage - we emphasize the incompetence or immaturity of the opponent, indirectly reckoning him among people with limited knowledge and carriers of malicious intent. Let's go back to the dialogue:
Conflictor: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: "This is a superficial one and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I am extremely responsible for my duties, and I always carry out work correctly and efficiently! The following facts indicate this:
1. This month I have been repeatedly awarded by the leadership for excellent work.
2. I regularly fulfill and exceed my personal plan.
3. Leaders set me as an example to other employees and so on.
.Again you: “I was always amazed and amused at the same time by people who made such stupid, peremptory and amateurish statements. A rational person would rather provide logical justification, and would not stoop to such cheap provocation. And why do people like to put on their incompetence for display? !"
Summary: the third, finishing blow, be sure to do it! After 10 seconds, the conflict will forever discourage the desire to deal with you.
note
Be careful. This technique should not be applied to your boss or to the person on whom your comfortable existence depends on. This is a cannon, and you should not shoot at it with sparrows.
Useful advice
Do not ask counter questions. Never make excuses.