Many have become accustomed to criticizing and condemning others. Finding flaws in others, we create the illusion of our own superiority. But any bias can expose our weaknesses, because what annoys us most in people usually lies in ourselves.
Instruction manual
one
There are no ideal people, as well as absolutely right in their thoughts and actions. Each of us has our own experience, knowledge and beliefs, which do not always coincide with the "life baggage" of another person, not to mention the character. Our judgments, often, do not take into account personal characteristics, namely they are the key to understanding the neighbor.
2
To stop condemning other people means learning to accept them as they are. But to forgive other people's mistakes and weaknesses is only capable of those who have realized their own imperfection. Before you blame someone, think about your shortcomings. For example, if a person does not understand a topic, instead of judging his mental limitations, remember what knowledge gaps you have. Thus, you will not exalt yourself, and you won’t offend him: “I know more about this, but he’s about something else”, “I have such interests, he has such.”
3
Often under our strict assessment fall not only weaknesses, but also the actions of others. If we can still come to terms with some external flaws, then a specific action that we find strange or immoral causes a storm of indignation in us. This storm turns into a real hurricane when we begin to condemn someone’s behavior among our friends.
4
Usually this ends with the fact that a single act of a person completely unfairly becomes a reflection of his essence. So, if the employee did not stay once or twice at the corporate party, they label him "not friendly", "does not have a team spirit." Although in fact he is sociable, he has problems at home, and he hurries to his family, and does not want to talk about personal experiences at work.
5
Before making a verdict, you need to understand the motives that people are guided by when committing certain actions. Saying "I would never have done so" is the easiest way, but not everyone can put themselves in the place of another and understand the reasons for his actions.
6
Perhaps the person does not even realize that his actions are regarded by someone badly. Let's say your friend dresses absolutely tastelessly. In his family, clothes were never given much importance, so he dressed all his life on the principle of "just to be comfortable." We, seeing him in a clumsy suit, do not miss the opportunity to laugh at the look of a fellow, while in our circle a mocking style of addressing the "crank" is established. This feature involuntarily made him an outcast, although he himself is a good person.
7
Everything could have turned out differently if we had accepted him for who he is, or at least suggested what clothes would have looked better on him. And so in everything. If we are friendly to everyone, then they will also treat us. Understanding and acceptance is the basis of harmonious relationships, not only with others, but also with oneself.
- Conviction for self-development
- I want to stop blaming