It can be very difficult to apologize, but this skill helps a lot in life. It is relevant in family relationships, needed in work, and will also be useful in communicating with friends. There are several exercises that help you gain the ability to apologize.
Instruction manual
one
It is very difficult to ask for forgiveness, if you consider yourself right, it always sounds false. Therefore, before apologizing, you need to realize who was wrong. Almost always, both are to blame for any conflict. To see this, you need to look at the situation from the side or put yourself in the place of the second participant. At the same time, you will certainly find those things that were not true on your part either. Apologize for them, not for everything that happens. You may not specify this in front of a person, but inside, have an idea of your fault.
2
You can learn to apologize first on paper. This is a good way to practice. Just write a person a letter asking for forgiveness. It’s better to argue everything, first say what he’s wrong about, then write down what you did wrong. And at the end, talk about forgiveness. And ask him to forgive you too. Many psychologists say that even if you don’t give this letter away, don’t show it to anyone, anyway the conflict will be settled and quickly forgotten. All our words and thoughts reach the recipient on more subtle levels.
3
When you learn to write letters, you are not so scared to say it out loud. Therefore, you will have to train further. First you need to try on your favorite people. Start with your spouse or parents. The next time you curse, see what you are doing wrong. Find your mistakes again, and after the quarrel, go up and ask for forgiveness. No need to fall to your knees, no need to cry and beg. It will be enough to say: "at some points I was wrong."
4
At work, you also need to learn to apologize. But here the form may be more formal. For example, you told a person something important, but at the same time slightly raised your voice. The circumstances may be different, some nervousness may interfere with adequacy, so this is not fatal. But it’s worth apologizing, in this case it will sound like this: “Excuse me for my tone, I’m tired that day. But listen to those my words, they were true.” Again, you do not need to humiliate yourself, these words do not make you lower, they are only evidence of professionalism.
5
The most difficult thing is to apologize to the children. It is important here not to drop your authority, but not to infringe on the rights of the child. It is important to pronounce everything calmly, without tears. Explain to the baby what happened, talk about the causes and consequences. If you raised your voice, then you were not mistaken, and why this is so - you need to tell. Be sure to say that you love the child, that you are not angry with him or yourself. Usually, up to 10 years, people begin to look for causes of adult irritation in themselves, this must be dispelled. But remember that forgiveness does not need to be bought, you do not need to immediately agree to purchase any toy or ice cream. This is an act of reconciliation, and it can happen without bribes.