Resentment, as a rule, arises as a response to unjustly caused grief or insult. Often resentment in a person is caused by his deceived expectations aimed at others.
Instruction manual
one
Firstly, your offender may have no idea that someone is offended by him for something. So is there any reason to be offended by someone who will never even know about it? If you want to clarify the situation, tell him about your feelings, just use not accusatory expressions, but phrases like: “I feel resentment. It’s unpleasant for me when you do this and that or don’t do what I’m doing waiting on you."
2
It is completely impossible to get rid of emotions. You can talk about them, but do not expect from other people that they owe you something or owe you something. Take their good attitude towards you as a gift, a sign of sympathy or whatever, but not as an indisputable given, deviations from which are unacceptable.
3
If you are offended by a person because he did not live up to your expectations, keep in mind that people cannot read your mind. If you expect that a person will act in one way or another towards you, try to ask him about it or at least give a hint. To wait until others will guess your desires, and even to be offended when this does not happen, is simply stupid.
4
Perhaps, having offended you, a person inadvertently touched you for a sore spot. Before being offended, think about whether he consciously did it, or it happened rather by chance, "without a second thought" on his part. Even if he consciously told you an insulting truth in the eye (after all, very often people are offended by the truth that is unpleasant for them), thank him for this.
5
Recognize, for example, that there is some truth in his words, and take something useful for yourself out of the situation. Perhaps this is exactly what you should work on, and you do not dare to admit to yourself that it is really necessary. In addition, if a person is frank with you, and does not spread rumors behind him, this is already worthy of respect.
6
If you were offended by an outsider with whom you are not connected (pushed in the transport, stepped on your foot, etc.) and you probably never see each other again, it’s best to treat this with humor and forget it. But if we are talking about a conflict with a close friend or relative, it is unlikely that we can do without a heart-to-heart conversation. Begin such a conversation only when the emotions calm down and you can speak calmly, without mutual accusations and reproaches.