At least once in her life, she overtakes any of us - love without reciprocity. An unrequited feeling, like a small flame, burns from within. And only you can turn it into a forest fire or, realizing the hopelessness of the situation, extinguish it as unnecessary. Now you are suffering because of a broken heart and swear that you will never love anyone again. Well, the last statement was made clearly in a hurry, but there is no doubt one thing: at the moment, your main task is to stop loving someone who has not responded to your feeling. So, we proceed to extinguish the love fire.
Instruction manual
one
No phone
First, stop telephone terrorism. If before that you kept calling him, silent or saying nonsense, stop doing this once and for all. Surely you managed to memorize his number, and eject the treasured numbers from memory - this is not an easy task. Therefore, whenever you want to call the subject of your suffering, dial the phone number of one of your friends. Chat for a short time - and it will become easier, because talking about feelings is great to reduce their intensity.
2
No melodramas!
Do not appeal to his sense of duty. Phrases in the spirit of "If you leave me, I will kill myself" or "Since I love you, you must love me too" forget, like midnight nonsense. In love, no one owes anything to anyone (the exception is obligations to a sick wife and young children), and blackmail and coercion are unworthy methods in any situation. In these ways, you will not bind a person to yourself, but, on the contrary, you will push it away. Yes, and earn a reputation as a young lady is not in itself.
3
Out of sight!
Throw away photos of your "tormentor" and all things that remind of him. Alas, you will also have to interrupt communication with mutual friends. At least with those of them who constantly strive to start a conversation about him, regardless of your feelings. Do not try to be delicate, show reasonable selfishness - why do you need extra pain?
4
Not a minute of peace!
Take yourself busy and entertained so that there is no free time for sad thoughts and, especially, for humiliating walks around his house. Try to make your life as full as possible: monotony and boredom will drive anyone into depression without unhappy love. Keep in mind, just "filling up" yourself with work is not an option. It is necessary to "throw a fire", that is, make the psyche deal with various problems - change the circle of contacts, find a new occupation (driving courses, skydiving or yoga - everything will work). Thus, scattering the fire bonfires, you will feel that they are separately extinguished. By the way, this method was also recommended by Ovid in the poem “The Cure for Love”. As they say, time-tested.
5
For yourself, darling!
Pamper yourself more often. Since you can’t get the main prize, give yourself small pleasures. Eat a bar of chocolate, watch your favorite movie, on weekends do not get out of bed before noon, listen to good music. But! In no case are those tunes and films with which memories of him are associated. And it would be nice to change your image - hairstyle, wardrobe, makeup. In general, do not leave yourself in the new life a place for blues and love of longing.
6
Drafts
Entrust your experiences to paper. It has long been noticed that feelings splashed out on paper lose their strength in real life. Now they will live only on leaflets watered with tears. By the way, psychotherapists advise using this tool even to people with mental disorders.
Do not flatter yourself, you are not among them. According to the same psychologists, unhappy love is nothing but a real illness. Therefore, when the yearning becomes unbearable, arm yourself with paper and a pen. If feelings have accumulated again, repeat the operation, do not be lazy to splash them again and again. At the same time, you will learn to analyze your experiences and actions.
7
Among fellow sufferers
Chat with people who have the same problems. Firstly, you will perfectly understand each other (on this principle, by the way, all fan clubs are formed). Secondly, when you see how these unfortunate creatures themselves poison and barren themselves according to those who do not value them, you will begin to understand how stupid, nasty and boring all this is. Yes, and funny, finally.
eight
Wait, the engine …
Remember what folk wisdom advises in such cases? "Fight fire with fire". The ancestors, of course, are in many ways right, but not this time. It is unlikely that you will be able to "turn off" all feelings for one in an instant and light up the "green light" of the next chosen one. And psychologists do not recommend seeking solace in the arms of another. The fact is that you risk grabbing the "baggage" of the past into new relationships, for example, you will attribute to the new gentleman the qualities that you liked in the "previous" one. Unnecessary illusions will arise, and sooner or later this will lead to disappointment.
However, do not taboo communication with men. Make friends, learn to be seductive and desirable - your time will come to drive you crazy!
9
If it hurts - let it hurt
Do not suppress your emotions. Do not say that you are cheerful and happy if you really strangle tears. Honestly, the white light is not nice to you right now, but don’t depress yourself with thoughts like "oh, for which I got unhappy love." In fact, love is always good: divided gives happiness, unhappy - teaches wisdom. The main thing is what lessons can you learn from this experience. The first one you have probably already learned: you must not allow a man to become a central figure in your life, especially if he could not appreciate you. And make it a rule to start every morning with the words "Today it will be even a little easier, " and so it will be.
Useful advice
So, the work on the bugs is done. You took "a hundred steps back, quietly on your fingers, " there is no more attraction. And the flame of hopeless feeling is about to die out. Congratulations! Priceless experience was gained, because, as you know, "that which does not kill us makes us stronger." And now it's time to move on to a new chapter in your life - happy and cheerful.