Almost everyday in our life circumstances arise that can cause irritation, aggression, and sometimes outbreaks of anger. Situations can be very different: pushed in the transport, got into a traffic jam, problems at work, forgotten keys and so on. Sometimes even the most insignificant stupidity causes bouts of anger and irritation, which, of course, we throw out on others. Our behavior seems to us right, because psychologists advise not to restrain their emotions.
Looking at the situation on the other hand, you begin to realize that splashing out your anger at others is stupid and wrong, it is impossible to solve the problem in this way, but losing a friend or loved one is real. Thinking about your own behavior, sometimes it becomes scary and embarrassing. How to curb your anger and stop offending and insulting loved ones and not so people?
To solve the problem of seemingly causeless anger, it is necessary to find the very reason. We are adults and adequate people and, of course, we realize that anger cannot arise from scratch. Find this reason, which unsettle, and then eliminating it, you can become much happier. Let's look at an example, you are angry with a loved one who did not notice some of your achievements: for example, a new hairstyle, a delicious dinner, a built-up body, etc., do not fall into a tantrum and shout that he is an ungrateful bastard, it's simple enough give a hint to her husband about a mistake;
- you need to look at the situation from the side of the interlocutor. There are situations that they shouted at you undeservedly, insulted or even pushed, it is quite normal to do the same in return. But! Try to find out why a person is behaving this way, it is quite possible that he lost one of his relatives, crashed a car, one of his relatives was sick, and so on. In such cases, one no longer wants to yell and insult a person, the only desire is to regret and sympathize;
- try to put yourself in the place of the interlocutor: will it be pleasant for the strong if they start to blame, scream, insult? Unlikely.
- if self-digging was not successful and the reason for the unreasonable anger was not found, then you need to get rid of the negative in other ways: I personally go to wash in hot water or ennoble the flowerbed, someone goes to the gym, someone locks himself in the room and screams or crying, there are many ways, but such a discharge will bring the nervous system in order. If you have a close friend or girlfriend, you can cry in a vest, this method also works;
- try to distract when everything inside is in full swing from anger, of course, it’s difficult, but possible. Consider a specific example, you quarreled with your husband or a loved one and immediately begin to remember that he forgot about the wedding anniversary, did not notice a new hairstyle, was late from work, so you can remember more than one hundred sins, of course, this will not improve the mood. As soon as such thoughts are firmly established in your head, it is worthwhile to get distracted and switch to something else, for example, do cleaning, wipe off the dust, clean the pots and pans, and so on;
Most often, a feeling of bitterness visits us in moments of solitude. On the one hand, this is not bad, because there is no object on which you can throw out all the negativity. Alone, it’s easier to analyze the situation and calm down. One of the best ways is a cold shower, which will invigorate and make the brain work in the right direction. At work or in public places, you can wash yourself with cold water from the tap, and in order not to spoil your makeup, you can just wash your hands with ice water.
Another way to escape from anger is to think about something good. Give yourself a loved one (beloved) 5 minutes of time in which you can see the photo album, where you are captured with loved ones, where faces shine with happiness.