When experiencing the loss of a loved one, the mechanism of overcoming, known in psychology as "work of grief", is turned on. Loss is considered to be experienced after successfully completing all stages.
Instruction manual
one
At all stages of grief, absolutely normal processes occur. You need to know about their features in order to notice a pathological course in time. Sometimes grief occurs with a jam at one of the stages.
2
The first stage is shock, it lasts about 9 days. A person refuses to accept the fact of loss, because his awareness is too traumatic for the psyche. In this case, the simplest protective mechanism is triggered - the negation, which is more characteristic of childhood.
3
The manifestation of shock can be both a state of numbness and a fussy immersion in activity. At the same time, depersonalization is possible as a separation from one's own self. All this refers to normal reactions, otherwise a person would simply go crazy.
4
In this period, it is advisable not to leave a person alone, as he may have suicidal thoughts. He does not need abstruse philosophical conversations now, he needs the presence of loved ones and physical contact with them. During this period, a person needs to cry, if he cries a lot - this is good.
5
If a person is frozen and does not react to anything, try to help him cry. A funeral is the last opportunity to see a dead person, and sobs are a necessary phenomenon. Other people should not lead away from the coffin and try to speed up the funeral.
6
The second stage is relevant up to 40 days and is called negation, this time the negation occurs in the unconscious part of the psyche. Formally, a person has already realized, but deep down - no. For this reason, he can hopefully wait for the steps of the deceased, see dreams with him.
7
If there is not a single dream with the deceased, this indicates a pathological course of the stage of denial. During this period, the survivor often cries, but not constantly. He is talking about the dead, which you just need to listen carefully.
eight
The next stage is the gradual acceptance of the loss, which causes pain. A man is struggling with himself, trying to manage his condition. But not always successfully, and at such moments it suddenly becomes bad.
9
Often there are thoughts of self-accusation, aggression against the deceased, regret about the existing opportunity to change and improve something in his life. Such thoughts should not take possession of a person for a long time, but must be lived. This period lasts up to six months in the norm.
ten
Tears become less and less, a person learns to suppress emotions and live on. Sometimes it begins to assume the fulfillment of any duties of the deceased. Dreams with the dead still come, but in these dreams he appears in another world.
eleven
At the next stage, the pain is relieved, it lasts up to a year. The loss is accepted, life is getting better. One gets the impression that a person completely conquered his grief.
12
At the final stage, all the previous ones are repeated in mild form, but the person does not react so sharply. Possible outburst of guilt. The process of mourning is approaching its logical conclusion by the end of the second year.