For many people, an outside view is important and necessary. This is perceived as a certain assessment. In some cases, other people's opinions can help in the development and achievement of a certain goal. However, as soon as this becomes painful dependence on the people around you, this should be fought.
Very often, the root cause is first required to fix a problem. In this case, the uncomfortable psychological moments that you really want to get rid of are similar to physiological diseases. After all, you can suppress or treat the symptoms of the disease for an infinitely long time, however, eliminating the pathology will not work until the immediate cause that triggered it is eliminated.
Because of what the dependence may form
What can be an alarming, painful dependence on the opinions of other people? Why are some people very exposed to outside evaluations? Among the variety of options, as a rule, the main ones stand out:
- problems with self-esteem, increased self-doubt;
- unwillingness (or impossibility due to attitudes) of a person to realize his uniqueness;
- difficulties with the realization of one’s self-worth, with the acceptance of one’s talents, achievements, etc.
- dependence on other people's opinions is often formed by parents with the help of upbringing, along with the suppression of a person’s independence and the idea that he is a unique person, individuality;
- various personal attitudes that a person could independently form at home, for example, under the influence of some critical or stressful situation.
It would seem that if the reason for dependence on other people's opinions lies in low self-esteem, then take it and raise it for yourself. Or if a similar trait was formed due to personal preferences, just break these preferences. Very often people who are painfully dependent on the opinions of others hear phrases like “just forget it, ” “ignore other people's words, ” “what do you care what others think, ” and so on. However, as you know, to say is always much easier than to do. The presence of increased anxiety, possible neurosis, low stress tolerance, stuck in thoughts and feelings, the formation of obsessions and images, various fears and fears - all this often fuels total dependence on public opinion. Overcoming this in two ways is usually not easy. What to do? How to cope with your tendency to constantly look back at others, to listen to what people around say?