Conflicts between people are inevitable. Finding two people with completely concurring opinions is an impossible task. Thanks to several points of view, the situation is assessed from different angles and find the optimal solution to the problem. A correctly chosen line of behavior will allow overcoming the crisis without consequences. The issue of behavior in the conflict was dealt with by psychologist Kenneth Thomas.
By properly resolving disagreements, relationships are strengthened and improved. In humans, one line of behavior prevails. He prefers not to change her.
Author's method
Psychologist-researcher Kenneth Thomas assessed the acts committed during the disagreement on several points:
- the subject's inclination to take into account the interests of opponents, that is, willingness to cooperate;
- firmness of intentions to defend their own interests, that is, the degree of assertiveness.
After lengthy work, five behavioral types were identified in contentious situations. Together with Ralph Kilman, he developed a test to determine the most human model. The questionnaire is usually called the Thomas test (Thompson test).
The technique is very simple. A description of each collision response is described by a dozen judgments. They are arbitrarily grouped into three dozen pairs. The subject must in each choose one, the most, in his opinion, the correct statement.
Despite the apparent straightforwardness, the test results may be unexpected even for the subject. But the understanding of the weaknesses and strengths of the individual is noticeably easier. A special table is the key to the interpretation of the results.
It shows what type of behavior a person is inclined to. Knowing this, it is easy to predict the development of the conflict and the methods for its successful resolution. According to the methodology of Thomas, everyone chooses any of the proposed scenarios. For clarity, they are compared with the behavior of one of the animals.
Sharks prefer competition. "Teddy bears" need a desire to resolve conflicts. "Turtles" avoid collisions, avoid disagreements. The Fox is compromising, and the Owl needs cooperation.
All the proposed scenarios are non-universal, they have their minuses and pluses. The proposed models cannot constructively influence all conflicts.
Competition
People- "sharks" follow only personal interests in everything. They are not at all interested in the opinions of others. Sharks do not recognize compromise. They are sure that the victory of one ends in the complete defeat of the other.
In an effort to achieve their goal at all costs, such people without hesitation walk on their heads. They are characterized by actions that are not entirely consistent with generally accepted ethics. It’s easy for them to decide to cheat, even to engage in forgery.
“Sharks" strive to possess all the information about the opponent. But they are absolutely not interested in either the person’s good name or his spiritual comfort. It is possible to justify such a behavioral line only in the smallest number of situations.
Most often this happens during an acute crisis. Usually, a person who is endowed with certain powers needs to restore order as soon as possible, achieving the result at any cost. The remaining situations do not justify the behavior of “sharks”.
They can destroy long-term relationships. Often, conflict behavior becomes a real problem for those around him. This means that when communicating, special care must be taken.
Device
The exact opposite of a “shark” is a “teddy bear”. He is prone to opportunism. With this type of behavior to please the opponent, the test subject can easily give up his own interests. Usually, this option characterizes people with very low self-esteem.
They are sure that their point of view does not deserve accounting. Such a type may be successful in a situation where the subject of dispute does not deserve any attention. Concession to the opponent practically guarantees the preservation of friendly relations.
The consequences of the collision will be minimal in this case. However, the rejection of one’s own interests can negatively affect all events of a person’s subsequent life.
There is a high risk of losing the respect of others, getting the rank of spineless. Often it is these people who are most often willingly manipulated. After identifying propensities for adaptability using the Thomas test, immediate work on self-esteem is needed.
Evasion
For turtles, conflict is unacceptable. They do their best to avoid clarifying the relationship directly or postpone the analysis of the situation. The position differs not so much in the inability to defend one’s own point of view, but in the extreme degree of disrespect for the interests of others.
For a tortoise, hiding from a problem is characteristic, not finding its solution. This behavior is caused by the “victim complex”. The tactics can be justified by the insignificance of the reasons for the disagreement for the parties.
In a more serious situation, such an attitude can lead to an extreme increase in misunderstanding and concentration of mutual claims. A protracted confrontation is becoming increasingly painful for both sides.
It can at any moment end with a superemotional showdown. The consequences may become irreversible. If the result of the test was just such a result, a person needs to become more courageous, not be afraid of problems. It is important to understand that the issue will disappear only after its solution.
Unanswered can deprive forces, turn life into unbearable. And it’s impossible to hide constantly.
Compromise
“Foxes” seek to negotiate with opponents. Only partial satisfaction of the requirements of each party does not lead to a complete solution of the problem.
It is a respite. In the position of the cunning, their complete dependence on the position of the opponent is the weakest point. If he is not going to sacrifice at least part of his interests, then the "fox" is the loser.
There is a high probability that the opposing side demands too much, and then the opponent allegedly generously decides to give them up to the desired level. For this reason, before a compromise, it is important to collect all the information about the subject of the dispute so as not to lose.
If testing Thomas shows a tendency to such a way out of disagreement, you should be more decisive in upholding their own position.
