How often people say not what they really were. More often, they say not what they think. The best friend of lies is silence, half-truth. Lies can be big and small, but harmless childhood lies can lead to trouble, and shortcomings turn into delayed troubles. However, there are tricks to calculate the deceiver. Lies are associated with emotional tension, this is manifested in speech, movements, human behavior. The less often he lies, the more noticeable they are.
You will need
Observation
Instruction manual
one
Lies have verbal (speech) and non-verbal (external) signs. In speech, it appears as a faceless, sketchy narrative: a minimum of details, faces, names, general phrases. The liar is afraid to get entangled in the intricacies and avoids them. The more you are convinced of the truthfulness of what was said, the less reason to believe it. The deceiver builds the narrative, calculates the possible dangers, so the search pauses between words increase, torn, unfinished constructions appear. The gaps are filled with parasitic words, interjections. Slows down the reaction to your remarks (pondering the answer and predicting the development of the situation). The interlocutor evades a direct answer, he cannot say a firm yes or no, he shies away or gets bogged down in small things. As a distracting maneuver, a sharp change of theme is used when the lies go too far. In a conversation with a liar, try to suddenly change the subject yourself - you will see that he will be relieved.
2
Psychologists highlight some figures of speech that betray lies. When the speaker emphasizes his honesty, he can swear by all known methods (“I swear on health”, “I give my hand to the clipping”, etc.) Avoiding the answer can usually be identified by the phrases: “I can’t remember”, “I didn’t say that ", " I'd rather not talk about that". Evasion of a clear “yes” or “no” is carried out with the help of a psychological attack on you: “You said it yourself!”, “Do you respect me?”, “I don’t know what I’m talking about, I didn’t say such a thing”, “I don’t have to answer to questions like that. " Sometimes the interlocutor may try to gain your trust and identifies with you: "We are alike", "I have the same problem."
3
Lies also leave outward signs. Since this process is very emotional, it affects the face and body. The facial expression changes: the deceiver's face turns red (blood rushes to the head), her lips twitch. He looks away, not holding your gaze. However, he can on the contrary look at point blank range. Often blinks, eyelid twitches, pupils can expand (from excitement). Answering questions, he squints.
4
Usually people talk in a conversation, but the liar’s gestures give out his lies and are signals for you. In conversation, he can touch his ear, rub his nose, scratch his eyes. If there is jewelry, sometimes beads teasing. Excitement increases the need for oxygen, and a person loosens the collar, tie. The interlocutor seeks to occupy as little space as possible, gets tighter, a forced posture, hands like glued to the body. Protective movements are also used: crossed arms and legs (at the ankles), closed palms. A liar constantly fidgets in a chair, cannot find a place for himself, makes many small movements with his legs (wiggle, tapping, etc.)
5
“Mr. body language” Alan Pease identified 5 main external signals: a running gaze, a slight smile that does not leave the face, micro-tension of the muscles of the face (a shadow ran through), control of the interlocutor’s reaction at the moment of lies, and vegetative reactions on the face.
6
Thus, by developing your observation, you can determine if they are telling you the truth. But it should be remembered that some signs can be characteristic of a person even when he is not lying - he just is. For example, he has the habit of crossing his legs while sitting, or always talking with a smile. Therefore, if you have not studied the interlocutor very well, then you run the risk of falling into the “Brockau trap”. He is named after the famous TV presenter Tom Brockau in America: this is a mistaken assumption of human actions that are natural for signs of lying.
note
However, do not forget the eternal wisdom of the people: "Better is the bitter truth than the sweet lie."
Useful advice
Knowing all of the above, you yourself will be able to control your verbal and non-verbal manifestations when you want someone to spend. But in order to save face, you yourself have to believe in your own legend, so that for you this is no longer a lie. Then others will not notice anything.