In communication you always need to consider human psychology. The ability to easily untie your tongue gives you several advantages. You can find out some of his secrets, understand what is important and significant for this person, and, accordingly, find out how you can influence him. How to succeed on the front of interpersonal relations, to achieve trust and people's disposition?
Instruction manual
one
Meet, as you know, by clothes. Therefore, you should look if not smart, then at least neat and tidy. You should not smell of sweat, but of some pleasant and light aroma (or you shouldn’t smell anything at all). Your sincere smile will bring a person to you.
2
Do not bombard your interlocutor with direct questions "on the forehead", do not arrange for him to be interrogated. From this, a person can only become isolated in himself - such will be his natural defensive reaction to your actions.
3
Start with neutral, minor questions. This will allow the interlocutor to relax a bit and feel confident in a conversation with you. For example, ask him if he likes the weather outside today, how he feels, whether he is tired at work today. The subject matter of the questions depends on the specific situation. Invite someone to drink tea or coffee.
4
To a person relaxed a little more, praise him, give him a compliment. Just do it unobtrusively and carefully so that the compliment does not fall too out of context of the conversation. For example, when it comes to work, focus on his achievements and successes, positively evaluate his personal qualities as an employee.
5
Look into the eyes of a person during a conversation. But not with the gaze of a predatory beast looking for a prey, but simply and friendly. If you look into a person’s eyes, he will understand that you have nothing to hide from him. You can bow your head slightly to the right: this non-verbal gesture is unknowingly regarded by the interlocutor as your willingness to talk openly and even help him.
6
Ask your questions in a soft tone. Specify details. First ask what your interlocutor will readily tell, then gradually move on to more sensitive issues. Specify even those details that seem to you not particularly interesting, but interesting to the interlocutor. So he will see in you a man who shares his views, understands and approves of his position, is interested in the same thing as he is.
7
Listen carefully to your interlocutor. Nothing unleashes a language like an attentive and grateful listener. Show the person that you are listening to his thoughts, that you are absorbed in his story. Let him see in you that very desired listener. Then, imperceptibly for himself, he will tell you what he would have hidden with a direct question that arose in the course of an ordinary business conversation.
eight
Show interest. Respond to the interlocutor’s words with a nod of the head, slight changes in facial expressions, but do not interrupt him. From time to time, show him that you listen carefully to him and understand. Repeat his words in a slightly paraphrased form. Summarize what he said. For example, after his long talk about the financial problems of the company, summarize: “So, for the further functioning and development of the company, you would like to purchase new devices, but your problem is that all the funds of the company are in circulation, so allocate funds for the purchase I’m not working yet."
9
Offer your idea to solve his problem. Mentally stand in his place and tell me what you would do.
ten
Pause. After your interlocutor finishes talking, wait a few seconds before you start talking yourself.
eleven
If after some of your questions a person closes, hesitates, withdraws into himself and does not want to talk, do not put pressure on him. Ask him why he does not want to answer this question, for what reasons this question caused him difficulties. Maybe your question causes him some unpleasant memories and feelings, maybe it makes him feel ashamed for some of his actions, or maybe a person just can’t remember everything that you ask him about.
12
If the interlocutor cannot remember something, but you need to find out, use the associative method. Talk about things that are close to the topic of your question. Arouse various associations in a person (thoughts and images closely related to the question). Often, remembering something contribute to new vivid impressions or a change of scenery.