Children's shyness is manifested as restraint in communication or even rejection of it. Adults encouraging modesty in a shy child only exacerbates the difficulty of interacting with other people. A person learns the ability to communicate from birth through contacts with parents and other close people. It depends on their characteristics whether the child will be free to communicate or will be shy.
Instruction manual
one
Monitor your communication with your child. Note how often you use prohibitive statements. Of particular importance for the formation of shyness is the prohibition without explanation. According to the psychologist F. Zimbardo, the more such prohibitions are, the more likely it is that you are talking like a “warden-prisoner”, there is practically no normal dialogue between them. There is a fear of communication.
2
Analyze what pleases you more: activity and loud children's voices or restraint and silence of children in the house. Children try to meet the expectations of their parents and behave accordingly. When waiting and demanding constant restraint from them, children behave obediently without showing initiative in communication and activity.
3
Show your child various ways to communicate with other people. Attend children's events more often, go to visit, take your child with you to the store. Looking at you, he will remember various situations of communication and ways to resolve difficulties.
4
Do not note the presence of shyness in the child when meeting him with other people. He has many other personal qualities that are worth paying attention to. It’s better to say not “He’s silent with us, ” but “He loves to think, to reflect with us. He’s so smart. Not only today's communication, but also the further development of the child depends on these attitudes.
5
Invite your child's friends to visit. In his apartment, the baby will feel more confident. He will be able to show his toys, talk about parents, play his favorite games that he has long mastered and has no difficulty teaching others how to play. At home, you feel the support of your parents, even if you do not interfere in the communication of the small owner and his guests.
6
Help the child to understand difficult life situations that cause difficulties in communicating with people of the opposite sex: living in the Oedipus complex (4-5 years old), first love for one's peers (10-12 years old), sexual desire (12-15 years old). Sincere conversations without accusations will help him understand the features of this relationship and overcome shyness.
7
Keep up to date with your child’s peers. Already from elementary school, children give each other nicknames, which are derived not only from the surname, but more often indicate any defects in the physical development of the child: "Fat Man", "TV Tower", etc. An adult should intervene in this kind of communication, especially if the nickname indicates fictitious defects, and the offended child closes in on himself.
Useful advice
For some children, introverts and phlegmatic, gifted and ingenious, shyness is a desirable state of mind. There is time to think, compose, invent, construct. Riding them from shyness, you risk depriving them of other positive qualities.