From time immemorial people have been asking: "How to be happy?" Today we’ll try to figure out a little how happiness is formed.
There is such a thing - "General Program". This is the so-called global fairy tale, which develops in a person’s head. And this tale very often determines everything that happens to a person. This fairy tale begins to form since childhood, slowly. Then she acquires new details. Then the person corrects it himself. It can be radically changed, but someone does not change it at all, rather adapting to this fairy tale.
It may well be that you have heard about some settings of this "General Tale". For example, the fairy tale "Lucky." The person with the fairy tale "Lucky" has nothing remarkable. Often, he does not have specific qualities or any ingenious abilities. Just an ordinary person, sometimes ordinary, no special talents. But lucky! Why? How?
He himself cannot really explain, predict how this will all happen, but at the same time, where others enter the puddle, he will surely draw out exactly those tickets that he needs. I came for an interview - they didn’t take everyone, but they took him. Why is that?
It works like a self-fulfilling prophecy. A person believes that it will be so - and indeed everything is happening. From the outside it seems that he is just lucky, everything turns out by itself.
“Loser” - this is the name of a person with another general program “Misfortune”. Remember the movie "Unlucky" starring Gerard Depardieu? Depardieu played the lucky one, and Pierre Richard the very unlucky one who constantly had some setbacks. I got up on the bridge - the bridge went. He did something there - he lost his shoe. This is just an illustration of the general program "Misfortune".
These programs largely determine the fate of a person - a person will feel happy or unhappy through life.
How it works?
It is sad to be aware of this, but the main program, characteristic of our Western culture, is Minus Zero (typical of Losers). If people with such a general program have something missing or if they have lost something, as a rule, they actively experience it with a minus, i.e. experiencing negative emotions. Here I have a one-room apartment, but I want a three-room apartment - we suffer. Or the car broke down, the wallet lost - in general the end of the world.
Along with the fact that such people negatively experience losses or shortages - they are indifferent, even and fairly calm about what they have. "What we do not store, having lost weeping" - this proverb is about such people.
By the way, almost many have a right hand. And even the left one! Answer honestly, do you often get high in the morning because you have both hands? Dale Carnegie wrote in his book about how he walked and suffered from shoes rubbing his feet. Suffered until he saw a man without legs. He felt ashamed - he realized that he had something to rub! How delighted he was!
We do not often recall that we have hands. Sometimes there are flashes - Hooray, there are hands! But there is also a hearing, a sense of smell, touch, etc. If for a moment we imagine that we have lost something, for example, a leg - how much will you be willing to give in order to return it? I think a lot. Perhaps all the property that is. After all, property can be acquired, but you cannot sew a leg back. So here we have it once - and miracles - there is a leg! Only, unfortunately, not everyone is so happy to perceive the presence of a leg, in comparison with the fact that they would have sewn their leg back. Paradox.
The saddest thing is that it’s difficult to make a person with a negative-zero program happy.
Imagine that you gave a person all the riches, fulfilled all his desires and presented everything that he dreamed about. After a short burst of joy, he quickly gets used to it and begins to take it for granted. And then he will begin to look for cons: he must pay taxes, and my boat is not the largest, and the pool is small. And no matter what he presents, he will be dissatisfied with everything. This is the trouble of such a person - he cannot be happy by definition.
There is another Zero-Plus setting. It is more characteristic of people with an eastern mentality. They, in contrast to the first, perceive problems with the sign zero, i.e. calm, neutral, as a fact. If something happened - it just needs to be fixed, it just needs to be done, what is there, in fact, to worry about.
My colleagues and I still remember the tsunami in Thailand. Do you remember? Hundreds of thousands of lives were claimed, a very big disaster was. Our EMERCOM nicknames and psychologists went there. So our psychologists needed help there. They did not understand what to do. A man comes, a Thai, from whom a family died, or all property is flooded. Psychologists come up to him and say - well, let's work, you have sorrow. But the Thai replies - Woe? Give the excavator - I need to clear the blockage. Psychologists say to him - Well, do not hold back grief. Thais do not understand - what are you talking about? Will there be an excavator? Psychologists generally shrug. They say - we did not understand, but with what to work? Thais have a different mindset. There is a problem - it is necessary to solve. Meaning to cry? At the same time, they are very often happy for any reason and quite rapidly. Imagine a man who wakes up in the morning and says: "Glory to God! The morning has come! Hello, sweetheart." We in Russia call such freaks. Imagine, he did not drink, but just like the sun rejoices.
If two people with different general programs start a business on an equal footing, then a minus zero person is less likely to achieve good results. Guess why? Due to the fact that there are all sorts of surprises in business, there are some non-standard situations that need to be addressed. A man of "minus zero" is going through a lot and hard and for a long time gets out of this hole.
And try to deprive a person with a zero-plus general program. Even if everything burned down, was taken away, was arrested, his hands were cut off as well - he will think: well, I have legs, I’m continuing to live, hello, sweetheart!
Someone, having arms and legs, turns himself into a disabled person and does nothing in life. And others, being physically disabled, lead an interesting, fulfilling, active life. A striking example of a zero-plus person is Nick Vuychich - without arms and legs, but feels like a full-fledged person! He has a wonderful wife, his son was born, he is one of the richest people on the planet. He organized a team of assistants, travels around the world and inspires people to live happily, enjoy life. Nick Vujicic says: Disabled? And what is a disabled person? You can do something - do it and everything will be fine! As long as the head is attached to the body - everything is real!
Here, such people will always be in order with happiness and with business.
Friends, and which of these settings do you choose?