Man is a very emotional creature, he is constantly overwhelmed by some feelings. Among them are pleasant ones: joy, delight, satisfaction, love. But many feelings are burdened on a person’s heart, and one of the most unpleasant feelings is shame. It is incredibly difficult to overcome shame; it gnaws a person from within, depriving him of energy and all the joys of life.
Instruction manual
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To overcome shame, it is necessary, first of all, to understand what gave rise to it. A person may be ashamed of his unseemly actions, and this shame is a good and generally useful feeling. It is akin to guilt, it helps to understand what is good and what is bad. It is a voice of conscience that makes us feel through pain the need to do well.
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But there is another shame, absolutely not useful - a shame that prevents a person from living for many years. We are talking about situations where a person feels inferior, defective due to his appearance, social or material status, education or other characteristics. Women are often ashamed of the shortcomings of their appearance: excessive weight, uneven dentition, irregular facial features. Men are more worried about the lack of career growth, lack of money, a used car. Even frivolous children are embarrassed by the fact that they are in some ways not the same as their peers.
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If shame is caused by an unseemly act, it is necessary, first of all, to try to eliminate its deplorable consequences, to correct the deed. Be sure to apologize to those who suffered as a result of your misconduct, and ask for forgiveness.
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Then it is important to take the last, most difficult step - to forgive yourself. It’s really not easy, it’s much easier to forgive others. Understand one thing: we all make mistakes, and we have the right to do so. A person learns through mistakes, each slip makes him a little wiser, kinder and better. The one who does nothing is not mistaken. Realizing this, it is easier to get rid of shame.
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Otherwise, one should work with shame generated by the feeling of one's own inferiority. Only very wise people who understand a simple truth can overcome this shame: every person is needed as he is. How boring would be a world in which all people are perfect and alike. The fact that all people are different has its advantages. Of course, it’s a shame to be among the not the most beautiful and successful, but that means that it is necessary.
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Another way to overcome this shame is to seek to correct the flaws. Overweight women go on a diet, people with birth defects are trusted by plastic surgeons, poorly educated people enroll in schools and courses, go to universities and technical schools. Such changes require considerable effort and willpower, but pay off handsomely. A person not only overcomes shame, but also imbued with self-esteem and pride in the results achieved.
Useful advice
So, you have two options to overcome shame: accept yourself as you are, or change everything that gives rise to a sense of inferiority. Which one to choose, you decide!