A certain part of all appeals to the psychologist is related to the topic of adultery in marriage. This is one of the most painful topics for a person, and sometimes it is possible to cope with it only with outside help.
Cheating in marriage is most often a severe trauma for the psyche of any person who encounters it. This is due to the fact that many ideas about his family life, hope, illusion are crumbling, because once a close person appears in a completely different light than he or she had previously imagined. Many self-image also collapse. In men, self-confidence falls, in women there is a feeling of vulnerability.
All these changes occur abruptly, in an instant - at the very moment when the news of the betrayal is fully realized. That is why everything is perceived so painfully. In an instant, what has been invested in forces for a long period of time is destroyed. How to be in such a difficult situation? A good solution would be to immediately contact a certified specialist. However, most often it is still necessary to solve this problem independently.
Give yourself time to go through a period of distress
At the time when a person learns about treason, no serious decisions can be made, since under stress all of them will be far from the best. It takes time for the acute period of mental pain to give way to a calmer, when it becomes possible to analyze, plan and make informed decisions. During this period, you can leave for a few days, if circumstances permit or to engage in any neutral business or work. If there is an understanding person who can support at this time - do not refuse help.
Use all means that allow you to bring yourself at least in a relative order. For some it is a sport, for some it is solitude or listening to music.
Do not try to analyze your relationship in the first, most painful period. This should be addressed at a later stage.
Analyze your situation
After the first acute stage has passed, you can try to analyze the situation that has happened, its possible causes, mistakes that have been made in the relationship.
There is a saying that tango is dancing two. Everything that happens in a married couple is not accidental, and the responsibility lies with both spouses.
The easiest way to see the mistakes of the changed side. This can be a low level of family responsibility, negative personal qualities, such as lying, an insatiable thirst for pleasure, a desire to assert oneself, etc.
Usually the other side begins to see these negative manifestations very clearly. However, the responsibility of the injured party is also present, no matter whether it is a man or a woman.
What can be the contribution of the injured party in this situation? There is a whole science of how to create, build and maintain relationships so that they are harmonious and bring happiness. Dozens of volumes have been written on this subject, both in ancient and in the present.
If the family comes to infidelity, then huge mistakes were made by both participants and, most likely, the split occurred long before the fact when one of the spouses went to the side. It is important to understand here whether the marriage was originally built on the basis of mutual love and respect in order to create harmonious relationships? Maybe negative scenarios based on the need to feel like a victim were laid from the very beginning?