Nothing boded ill. And suddenly someone opened his mouth and said something about you that resentment, frustration and irritation seethed in the soul for several more days. The brain did not get tired of sorting through the options for brilliant answers, which, alas, came to mind too late. A familiar situation, isn't it? In order to do without hassle the next time, theoretically prepare for such moments in life.
Instruction manual
one
Understand that sometimes people say nasty things not out of harm, but out of stupidity. And this happens not only with adolescents who are not yet familiar with the rules of good form, but also with very mature people. And worst of all, you can expect unpleasant statements from relatives. Well, you still love them. Find the strength to forgive. As an answer, use phrases called psychologists "I-messages." For example, “I am so offended to hear this, ” “It became so bad in my soul after your words, ” “I feel insulted.” If a person loves you too, and this is probably true, he will “hear” you and apologize.
2
In a situation with close relatives or friends, to defuse the situation, resort to self-irony. Say, for example: "I do not like boors. Why do I need competitors?" or "You can talk any nasty things about me, anyway I know more!"
3
If the disgusting thing is said by a person who is not very attractive to you: a colleague or a stairwell neighbor, do not show how much you are hurt by unpleasant words addressed to you. To see his victim wounded and annoyed - this is what the offender seeks. So do not give him or her such pleasure, keep your composure. No need to break out in an angry tirade, and even more so in the literal sense of the word, rush into the attack.
4
If you are witty and can quickly figure out how to sneak in response, use this quality to its full potential. At the same time, the more relaxed your remark is said, the better. Take the example of the great woman who lived at the turn of the 18th-19th centuries in France, Madame de Stael. She once made such a "compliment." The ugly and silly young dandy, who took a place in the theater between her and another socialite, decided to flatter them, saying: "I am between the mind and beauty!". “Having neither one nor the other, ” Madame de Stael added with a smile.
5
If, on the contrary, you are one of those people who can’t quickly figure out what to say, you don’t need to babble something inarticulate in embarrassment. It’s better to remember the universal phrase, which is useful in a variety of situations: "Having said muck, you said it about yourself."