Jealousy has many faces. Children are jealous of parents, and spouses of each other. Happy are those who can sincerely declare that they have never experienced this destructive feeling, but no less happy are those who managed to defeat the "green-eyed monster." Having managed to curb this “snake” once, a person learns to keep it in check and will not allow to ruin his life, drive him crazy, poison his happiness.
Instruction manual
one
Many modern psychologists define jealousy as a reaction to a real or imaginary threat. Whether there is something that actually provokes such a reaction in you, or whether it is just a figment of your imagination, is not important. What matters is how you handle it. That is why no external signs of “trustworthiness” of a spouse can sometimes affect a jealous partner. In order to understand the reason, you need to start not with the actual signs of treason, but with an analysis of where you got the feeling that something is threatening your well-being.
2
Go back to your past. Have you encountered situations when you were betrayed? Perhaps someone in your family was severely tricked and abandoned? It happens that someone’s situation touched you so much that you became afraid of its repetition in your own destiny. Try to write down all the associations with the words "deception", "treason", "betrayal" on a piece of paper and then re-read them. Remember what each of the cases that came to mind meant to you. Think about whether it has anything to do with you today. Even if you were once mistreated with you, are you ready to let this event influence your life today? The past has no power other than that which you yourself give it.
3
Think of yourself. What kind of person are you? What is good, good, why do others around you love you? If you have low self-esteem, then this is the reason for your jealousy, and not the behavior of the partner. Try every time you start to be jealous, remind yourself of who you are and why your loved one chose you. You do not know the answer to this question? So it's time to ask. Just do not ask about it every time, as it seems to you that you are "forgotten". It is enough to remember and repeat yourself difficult situations.
4
To reduce the level of anxiety, to which you owe maddening jealousy, it is important to maintain external and internal harmony. Get enough sleep, eat right, do not forget about physical activity - all these simple tips, which at first glance are not related to your problem, are designed to help you relax and be able to look at the problem with the calm eyes of a rested person, and not tired and exhausted by stress.
5
Jealousy is irrational. It is akin to panic, a state where a person is unable to think sensibly. Track barren thoughts and change them to rational, logically sound ones. For example, instead of thinking: “my partner can leave me, exchange me for someone else, ” say to yourself: “I respect my companion and know that he chose me. We are both adults and value our relationship.”
6
Do not compare yourself with other people surrounded by your partner. You will never feel safe doing such tests. There will always be someone who is better than you in something. But do you all know about the shortcomings of your "standard"? Perfect people do not exist, each has its own mistakes, complexes and shortcomings. Your companion has already chosen you, so strive to be the person with whom he entered into a relationship, and not someone else you came up with.
7
Be open in relationships. If your companion is doing something that causes your concern, it is best to ask about it directly. You will never be able to fully imagine how another person thinks and acts, do not even try. Likewise, your partner is not clairvoyant, he may sincerely not notice that his long conversations with someone give you such anguish. Identify the problem and, in most cases, you will hear a balanced and simple explanation. For example, that your alleged "rival" is just keen on underwater fishing, just like your companion, and interest is caused not by his personality, but by a common hobby.
eight
Each time, experiencing a fit of jealousy, remind yourself that it was this feeling that destroyed much more relationships than all the betrayals of the world. If, in spite of everything, jealousy drives you crazy, seek professional help.