In psychology, the concept of “victim complex” is interpreted as the self-denial of the individual for the benefit of others, in the name of loved ones. A man seeks to receive love in this way, not knowing other ways. Moreover, the victim often hates those for whom, in fact, he renounces himself. This internal state is burdensome, suppresses individuality, deprives the colors of life. You can get rid of the victim’s complex only by seriously working on yourself.
Instruction manual
one
Stop complaining, feeling sorry for yourself and telling everyone about your misfortunes. Understand that this is an absolutely useless activity, because constant complaints do not solve your problems. And the more you pity yourself, the more internal indecision grows, disbelief in your strength. Practice: set a day for yourself (at least half a day) during which you will never complain or regret yourself. It will turn out - praise yourself, because you have already become stronger. It doesn’t work - try again and again. Soon you yourself will notice that the attitude of others towards you has changed, they will begin to respect you. Not immediately, not in an instant, but - they will certainly begin.
2
Recognize the fact: everything that happens in your life is the work of your own hands. It is up to you and nobody to decide who and what you should be - a strong, self-sufficient and self-confident woman or a chronic sufferer who always has everything bad, having a miserable look and a sad expression on her face.
3
Do not do for other people, even the closest, what they can do themselves. Endless kindness towards others is undoubtedly good, but not unlimited. Do not take on someone else's duties, thereby you encourage their laziness and provoke arrogance and rudeness, and not the love and recognition that you count on. Most likely, very soon you will begin to annoy with your actions the people for whom you are trying, and a little later, they will begin
.wipe your feet about you. Think about it.
4
Focus on the positive aspects of life. Alas, it is impossible to live without problems, but to learn to treat them as unpleasant, but surmountable life phenomena - even a weak person can do. In addition, any obstacles are designed to strengthen the character, and not destroy the personality. Do not succumb to breaks in fate, try to maintain the integrity of nature and individuality. Instead of worrying about temporary difficulties and future failures, better think about what good is in your life. And it is necessary to eat, you just want to see and evaluate.
5
If all your efforts to get rid of the victim’s complex have not yielded positive results, consult a psychoanalyst or a good psychologist. In no case do not leave everything as it is, do not complicate your life even more, do not suppress your own personality. Do not become someone else's complement for which you must sacrifice yourself. Remember that you are, first and foremost, a person. Qualified specialists will certainly help you, but only on one condition - if you yourself will be inclined to change, if you yourself very much want to part with the position of the victim.
note
The victim complex is fraught with such an insidious consequence as masochism. A person is so accustomed to sacrifice towards someone that he begins to enjoy his suffering, the pity of others. It acts like a drug - the more mental anguish, the more you need it. Meanwhile, the process of destruction of the personality. This must not be forgotten.
Useful advice
To get rid of the victim’s complex, you need to constantly analyze your behavior. Psychologists in this situation use the so-called principle of interconnection, when both very large and negligible are links in one chain. Learn to overcome the small, and you will win the big.