How to influence another person, win over a dispute or discussion, gain support, get a positive response to a request, or just arouse sympathy?
Successful communication skills will help build a career, harmonize personal life, and find an approach to any person. Become an interesting conversationalist, given a few rules.
Our life is closely connected with communication. Every day we contact, interact and resolve issues with colleagues, friends, partners, representatives of various services and organizations. Knowing and applying a few simple techniques will help you get what you want without harm to others, but to your advantage.
1. The magic sounds of the name. Contact your interlocutor by name in a conversation as often as possible. A proper name magically affects a person, designates him as a person. When a person hears his name, he feels significant, necessary and important in this world. It's nice to hear your name, its sounds evoke positive emotions in the subconscious. Confidential contact is established between people, the interlocutors are determined to understand each other's needs and find a mutually beneficial solution.
2. Get help. Ask for help with something. It could be anything. The main thing is that a person does a good, useful work for you. Set up a computer program, download an interesting film, translate a difficult turn in a foreign text, get the right or rare book. When people do something good, they get a positive charge and the mood to do it again.
3. Ask for the impossible to get what you want. Ask for more and you will not be denied the small. For example, you have made a difficult request. "Sergey Petrovich, replace me at lectures in the next two months." Sergey Petrovich, most likely, will refuse from long inconveniences. But to refuse a replacement for a week - can not. People feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable after a refusal and try to help, to meet them if they are addressed with a real, adequate need.
4. Give compliments. An important rule is sincerity. Do not come up with something that is not, if you can find a feature or quality that can be praised. The interlocutor is well aware of his strengths and weaknesses, what is good for him and what is not. Find the highlight that you can completely highlight and sing sincerely. For example, an English teacher has an excellent pronunciation, and you know that she did her internship in London. She also knows about it. True and nice.
5. Be balanced. Keep calm even in those cases when you are 100% convinced that you are right, and the interlocutor sets forth thoughts completely far from the truth. Listen to your opponent all the way to the end. Try to understand and feel his motives, arguments, feelings. Filter out the ideas and views that you share and say so in your own words. You will have points of consonance and solidarity, the so-called anchors. General marina from which you can push off. Commonality unites and causes a positive attitude. Then you can state your position, having significant chances that the interlocutor will listen to your opinion.
6. Take a trip through the looking glass. Imagine that you are a mirror. Try to reflect the manner of your interlocutor, the pace and timbre of your voice, the manner of speaking, gestures, postures, facial expressions. People have a positive attitude towards those who imitate them. But remember, everything is good in moderation. Imitation should not be exaggerated and instant. Interlocutor changed position? Wait a bit and sit the same way. By copying the other, you acknowledge his authority and significance. This makes him more confident, improves self-esteem and mood, causes positive emotions for other people.
7. Support the interlocutor non-verbally. Refuse from poses of closure and isolation - arms crossed on the chest, foot to foot, crossed ankles.
Lean forward slightly without taking up the interlocutor’s personal space. So you show your interest.
Lightly nod your head during the conversation. This gesture sets up agreement and solidarity with the conversation partner.
Use reflective listening. Retell the interlocutor’s thoughts in your own words. The meaning is single, and the verbal presentation is individual. It’s like cooperation, you make it clear to a person that you support him, share thoughts and feelings, empathize.
Show sincere interest in people, smile at a joke, ask questions, thank you for your help. Then communication will be not only effective, but also enjoyable. Communicate with pleasure!
