Self-control is a process in which a person learns to control his behavior, to control himself. This quality is not innate. You can call it a psychological device, a special way of thinking, with the help of which a person can change what goes against his ideas and plans.
Instruction manual
one
The first and one of the most important steps towards self-control is a clear definition of what exactly is worth changing in your behavior. Do not indicate vague personality traits, for example, "I am too stingy, smoke a lot, suffer from overeating." Although such statements may be true, they will not help to learn self-control. Descriptions should clearly identify specific reactions. A woman who claims to be stingy can indicate typical examples: as an option, she often humiliates her husband with outsiders or constantly chastises her children.
2
Engage in collecting accurate data about what affects the behavior you would like to change, as well as how often specific behavior is observed. For example, if you smoke and want to get rid of this habit, for some period of time count how many cigarettes you smoke daily. If you are trying to lose weight, write down your weight daily for several months.
3
Develop an action plan that helps you change the frequency of specific behavior. This will help make the intended goal easier to achieve. For example, in order not to tempt yourself to purchase something tasty, but harmful, when you go to the store, you will take a strictly limited amount with you. It is best in such situations to keep as far as possible from temptations both mentally and physically.
4
Another way to teach self-control is to encourage yourself for the behavior you want, but the incentive should be affordable enough. For example, if you want to increase your physical activity, you can spend a certain amount of money on something pleasant for you for daily long walks at the end of the week. To ensure that unwanted behavior is repeated as rarely as possible, develop a “punishment” strategy for it. Moreover, if constant punishments seem difficult to you, you can soften them a little.