Often the inability to refuse eats up not only time and nerves of a person - it can ruin a lifetime. You can think about it a lot, but it’s better to try in practice how it will be.
There are several ways to practice strong rejection. Get ready for misunderstanding, resistance, at least to the surprise of those whom you could not refuse before. And start to win!
Reasonable limits
There are always tolerances and exceptions, keep this in mind. If a loved one is sick and cannot do something on his own, failure will be unreasonable. We are talking about average, not radicalism. Just make it a rule to follow the scheme:
- it does not infringe on my personal interests;
- it does not infringe on the interests of my loved ones;
- it does not infringe on the interests of people important to me.
And after checking the request for this algorithm, say yes or no. Remember that refusal will not make a person unhappy, he will simply be forced to strain himself instead of harnessing you.
How to start
First, start with the little things. Bring a cup of tea (if it's not an old grandmother), pat your shirt and stuff. And "keep punch" if you meet resistance. People are very uncomfortable to leave the comfort zone that you created for them, they will be against it, so what? After completing the little things, move on.
The second way is "total no." Take no to your word supply for at least a week. Do not be absurd, but be firm and repeat the word more often. Of course, if the boss asks for a report, no is not good here. In other cases - completely. And keep a diary to record how your refusals affect people, what feelings you have experienced. So you can track the dynamics and take into account the nuances of your sensations.
Third - go to a psychologist, consultant, coach. Specialists will give practice, conduct tests and give individual recommendations. And then they will help to track, adjust and simply provide help and support - this is important so as not to break firewood and not slide even lower.
Important Note
No need to explain why no. Explaining, you involuntarily begin to make excuses, and this retreat is already an indicator of your self-doubt. Just know that like other people, you have the right to say no.