In the previous part of our study, we examined what mental traps are, what they are and how they manifest in our consciousness. In continuation of the topic, let us complete our acquaintance with the types that Andre Doll sets out in the book "Mental Traps", and find out what the author offers as a therapy.
Instruction manual
one
The trap of separation ("sitting on two chairs") often fall into people with a lot of responsibilities or hobbies. They try to work with two clients at the same time, without helping either. They are engaged in needlework, reading a book, and do not understand anything from the text, and here the loop escaped. You cannot succeed all at once - this is an objective truth. If it seems that the soil is getting under your feet, it makes sense to prioritize and rewrite things into a notebook: having noted the steps that have been passed, we will understand that the issues are systematically resolved, and nothing escapes attention. So why add stress to the body, forcing him to eat both cake and fries at once?
2
“Hurry up - make people laugh, ” say yourself more often to avoid the acceleration trap. It is better to read the document properly, consult with knowledgeable people, than run to sign it several times. It is important to understand for yourself when quickly means promptly, and in what cases - hastily and prematurely. Analyze a specific situation: if I think again, will the result change? Will I find a mistake, will a bright thought illuminate me - or, on the contrary, will I just spend time in any of the traps? If deliberation has benefited, then we just escaped the acceleration trap.
3
André Doll defines the last two traps as follows: "Regulation is the trap of useless prescriptions, and the formulation is useless descriptions." They directly characterize the constant work of the brain, which is almost impossible to get rid of and which impedes living. Our mind always “gets underfoot”, creating excessive tension. We fall into the trap of regulation, giving ourselves small orders, which we could not only do without, but would also feel much better. The “need to stretch a stiff leg” command actually prolongs the torment exactly by those microseconds that we spent on an unnecessary thought. Although you could just lend a hand - and that’s it, the problem is removed. But we went a long way: at first we felt uncomfortable, then we thought what to do with it, then we gave ourselves the task and completed it.
4
The formulation trap also made us suffer - after all, the discomfort at first had to be recognized and identified, and only then to decide what to do with it. And formulating the joys of the world around us, we actually steal them from ourselves. Enjoying the fresh wind instantly loses value, you just have to formulate it: "How I enjoy the fresh wind!" It turns out that we are trying to convince ourselves of this, which means that we don’t trust ourselves so much that we need proof in words? It's like a sports commentator, who, practicing wit, interferes with watching what is happening on the screen. Turn off the commentator inside yourself, let him not interfere with listening to the world around him.
5
In fact, these two traps create the following problems - once we start the mechanism of endless analysis, we invent difficulties from scratch, accumulate tension and desperately try to remove it, becoming more and more confused in the heaps of thoughts. Not for nothing that many psychologists advise to master practices that help turn off the brain and listen to the subconscious. The inner voice itself guides us and quite successfully copes with this task, but the habit of trusting the mind and not trusting intuition breeds insecurity.
6
Distrusting impulses - this is what Andre Doll states as one of the reasons for falling into traps. We are used to considering the prescription effective, it seems to us that just getting up and washing the dishes is an unreliable way to put things in order, we must definitely set ourselves a goal, say it and then get down to business. Of course, a wall of traps immediately gets in the way: resistance, tightening, then acceleration, separation - and as a result stress. Isn’t it better to just practice believing in yourself, to feel the moment when the forces fill us, and abstain from the diagnosis: "I have filled my strength, I’ll go to wash." And just take it and do it.
7
The surprise that life can be so simple is the first thing we will encounter when we try to free ourselves from the authoritarian regime of our own brain. To do this, Andre Doll proposes, as it were, from the side to observe the manipulations of the mind on elementary examples from everyday life. Indeed, because we even wake up already in the power of traps and fall asleep, trying in vain to get rid of the obsessive "neighbor" in our head. A simple wake-up call causes us to formulate (I don’t want to get up), adjust (I need to), resist, tighten (well, just a minute), accelerate (I’m running late), fixation (I’m running late!), Separation, advancing (will fly in at work). And so almost all day.
eight
“We can think productively or unproductively of every aspect of our daily lives — housework, weekend breaks, careers, relationships with others. We fall into the same traps whether we’re washing dishes or thinking about marriage or "The difference is not in the subject of our thoughts, but in the approach to the subject. If we get rid of at least one of these traps, we will find that our problems in all areas have become less complex at the same time." Let this quote from the book “Mental Traps” help formulate a new approach to your own life, from which useless commands, attitudes and false priorities will gradually disappear.