A shadow is a combination of qualities, characteristics, beliefs, etc. that we do not accept in ourselves. We tend to project our unacceptable qualities. Not wanting to encounter unacceptable properties in ourselves, we attribute them to other people, the environment, and, ascribing, pursue: seek out, pay attention, resent, reproach. To make this process from destructive to constructive, it can be used consciously.
Exploring your shadow is not an easy task. Contact with the shadow causes unpleasant experiences and resistance. If you don’t feel the strength to withstand the negative, put off this work until better times.
However, despite the negative emotions that work with shadow causes, it is extremely important. Rejecting something that seems bad to us, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to change and, even worse, the ability to be ourselves, to be flexible and adaptive. After all, as K.G. wrote Jung, our creative powers and those resources that we don’t even suspect of ourselves are hidden in the shadows.
To study your shadow, you should use the projection psychological defense mechanism purposefully. To do this, the technique that Gestal psychologists use in their work is suitable. The reception is as follows:
- Remember the people or the type of people who cause you to be rejected, want to distance yourself, or even righteous anger.
- Write on a sheet of paper their properties, features, and settings that irritate you, repel you, cause confusion and indignation.
- When the list is ready, go back to the beginning and ask yourself questions about each item: In what situations do I behave this way? How do I show this quality in my life? What makes me deny the possibility that I have this property?
The more negative properties that revolt you, you find in yourself, in your behavior, acknowledge this and outline the boundaries for their manifestation, the less they will irritate you in the behavior of other people, and the more integrated and more confident you will be yourself..