Have you ever refused someone at least once in your life? Instead of a warm and gentle yes, say a cold and merciless no? If you had to, then you perfectly understand the difference between these words. But there are quite a few people who simply do not know how to say no. Do not know how or do not want? It turns out they don’t want to! They do not want to be tormented by guilt and awkwardness for their refusal, blush and make excuses. It’s much easier to say yes. Although they are well aware that many problems and troubles may follow.
Instruction manual
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So how do you learn to say no? This is a rather difficult, but quite real task. And you need to start with yourself. It’s from yourself, since you can in no way change a long-standing girlfriend who for hours retells the story of another love drama, or colleagues who, taking advantage of your meekness, transfer the most ungrateful work to your shoulders.
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It is all the more useless to bring up already adult children who, having left dogs, cats, grandchildren at you, leave for all holidays for a walk with friends. Of course, helping our friends, family and friends is our holy duty. And this is wonderful! But who said that this should be done to the detriment of oneself - at the expense of one's own health and free time?
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It must be remembered that you and only you are the master of your life. And no one, remember, no one can force you to do something against your will! Before you say another “yes”, ask yourself the question: “Is it really necessary?”. Can a person do without your help? After all, there are no hopeless situations, and if they do, it is very rare. And a friend will find someone to tell about her personal life, and colleagues will do the work themselves, and the children will go to rest with the whole family. So, do not take on others' concerns, considering yourself "the last hope."
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So it’s not too late (and it’s never too late), let’s learn to say a strong no. To get started, practice in front of the mirror. A strict facial expression should help you with this, your voice should be calm and decisive. Give it a try. Happened? Do not predict in advance the reaction of others, just do not think about it. It has long been proven that those who know how to refuse and respect themselves are respected more.
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Most importantly, do not try to make excuses. The one who is guilty is usually justified. If it’s very difficult for you, learn to refuse small things first. "Sound" egoism has not disturbed anyone yet. Remember that you do not owe anything to anyone! Live your life. You have one. And may she be happy!
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