She is very close, you can touch her, barely reaching out. She is very close and seems to be the same as before, familiar, close and dear to the heart, but infinitely alien. She is very close, but at the same time incredibly far, in her own dimension. You understand that now you cannot be sure of anything. You were surely convinced: in mutual harmony, that you are loved, that she deserves love, that happiness is possible. And then it happened. You suffer because you have no idea how to forget about her betrayal in order to live on.
Instruction manual
one
Look at the root. Most often, infidelity is just a symptom of numerous problems. It cannot happen suddenly, out of the blue, for no reason. There are always reasons. And if you want to still keep your relationship - get to the bottom of the root causes. You need to collect your will into a fist and have a confidential conversation with the girl (wife). In the course of this conversation, ask for reasons for her treason. Well, if among them there are those problems that you can solve together.
2
Stop from time to time to look for the guilty. Looking back into the past, you are afraid to step into the future, because you do not see it. Only by ceasing to look back, you can turn your eyes to the path on which you have to go. The fact is that in such a situation there are neither right nor guilty. In fact, one of you provoked, and the second stopped resisting, yielding to provocation. If you want to solve a problem, start with yourself. Ask yourself how you can help rebuild relationships. The task, frankly, is not easy, but the game is worth the candle. So treat this as a chance to start the game from the very beginning, only now you will move along the playing field, not relying on the will of chance, but well versed in the rules.
3
Remember only the good. According to psychological studies, for couples who did not break up as a result of treason, a recognition of the importance of each for each other is characteristic. As soon as you suppress this feeling in yourself, the motivation for maintaining relationships will disappear immediately. Therefore, do not let yourself and your beloved forget about all the bright and joyful moments that you had to experience together.
4
Step over the feeling of vulnerability or guilt to be able to analyze the fundamental criteria of your union. This includes your joint actions, common interests, ways of raising children, life aspirations. In a word, remember everything that is characteristic of the two of you, those pieces of the puzzle that once perfectly combined with all of your protrusions, and thanks to which you felt that you were made for each other.
5
Having given your relationship a second chance, never, under any circumstances, do not mention cheating aloud (because you will stop thinking about it soon, probably never). If you start to tidy up the past again, everything will be repeated first: mutual accusations, reproaches, quarrels, aggression, distrust. Thus, you only enclose both of you in a kind of vicious circle, which is incredibly difficult to get out of. Therefore, discuss, draw conclusions (because it is not always possible to understand), take measures, and then bury once and for all.
Useful advice
Anger is a bad adviser. Having learned about treason, it is rare who can restrain surging flows of emotions. But this incontinence can lead to irreparable consequences. In such a situation, it is most sensible to temporarily be away from each other in order to ponder what happened in a calm environment.
At the stage of “speaking” the situation, you should not try out details, because some of them may never leave you alone. You need only the information that will help to understand the causes of treason, nothing more.
After reconciliation, increased suspicion is inevitable, but it will not bring to good. Therefore, stop yourself every time there is a desire to "shackle your beloved into shackles."
- The hardest thing to forgive is treason
- I can not forget the betrayal
- how can i forget cheating