Personal space is therefore called that you decide whether to let people into it or not. However, in our age of high technology, it is very difficult to remain alone, and at any moment we can become the object of attention of those with whom we would not want to communicate here and now. In this case, it is important to be able to set boundaries around your personal space.
Only we decide - yes or no
It often happens that when they ask us why we didn’t pick up the phone, we begin to make excuses guilty instead of saying that at that moment it was not possible to talk to the person. And at the same time experience inner confidence that we have every right to do so. Having a phone does not mean that you are obliged to answer on demand - it is primarily your phone to call the person you need to call. And answer the calls or not, you decide personally.
To break away from this addiction, try to do without communication means for one day: turn off the Internet and the phone, stay alone with yourself. And you will see how much freer you feel when you realize that you owe nothing to anyone. And think over the boundaries of personal space: what you will do and what you don’t want and don’t agree.
At work, you can hang a sign on the door so that you are not disturbed. And if someone does come in, insist that you need to finish the urgent work. Usually 4 phrases are enough for a person to understand that your decision will not change:
- I have to finish the urgent business before evening;
- I need to meet the deadline, the work is important;
- I was glad to see you, come again;
- let's talk tomorrow, now I need to work.
Do not be afraid to miss something
To do this, you need to learn to say “no” not only to others, but to yourself. When the phone rings, many people pick up the phone without hesitation, because they are afraid to miss something. And if they don’t take it, then with each new signal they feel a growing alarm: “What if something important?”
The same fear drives people when they endlessly switch TV channels: “What if it’s more interesting there than here?” True, there are people who are able to watch several programs simultaneously. But basically, subconsciously, we are afraid to miss something important.
What is the basis of this? Lack of self-esteem. We think that others are smarter than us, that they are always up to date with everything, and we don’t have time for anything. Any way you need to abandon these thoughts and allow yourself to live the way you want and only you can live - an exclusive instance on this planet. You decide whether to pick up the phone or not, talk to this person now or not, buy this item or not, and so on.
Jammed record
This method will help to refuse a disadvantageous offer or action that you do not want to perform, especially if the interlocutor insists. At this time, we may feel guilty (because we have to refuse), the habit of being nice or something else may work. It is important to catch this feeling, forbid it to yourself and "become a jammed record." The essence of the method is that you endlessly repeat similar phrases until the interlocutor refuses his offer:
- "Thanks for the suggestion, I need to work."
- "Now I can not - a lot of work"
- "I have a very important job."
- "Work does not wait", etc.
It is better to speak in short phrases, not getting bogged down in a dispute - this will show that you are really busy and focused on business.
Offer a compromise
A compromise can be especially persistent - offer to meet not today, but on another day. If they ask for help - to offer to do not all the work, but some part. This will not be a complete failure and will not overload you in time. It is also important here not to feel guilty that you did not go to meet the person. Know how to say no to yourself, too, if you cannot help a person now. So you will act fairly in relation to yourself, and this is also important. It is impossible to be good for everyone every minute of your life. And is this the main thing? The main thing is to do your job, not forgetting about others and at the same time not putting them on your neck. In all - the rule of the golden mean.