Conscious or unconscious manipulations are constantly present in interpersonal communications. Parental attitudes, life experience, or certain character traits make some people "pull the strings", and others - become a puppet in the hands of the interlocutor. If you do not want to be a victim of a mental attack by a manipulator, then you should learn to recognize people of this type and minimize communication with them.
Instruction manual
one
Look at the root. Wanting to establish contact, the manipulator demonstrates precisely those personal qualities that the interlocutor wants to see. By creating the image of a person who is pleasant in all respects, sociable and reliable, he hopes to gain the trust and sympathy of his future “victim”. It is quite difficult to notice the simplicity and insincerity of emotions. During the conversation, the manipulator expresses his benevolent attitude in every possible way: smiles, poses, approving facial expressions and gestures. He prefers to listen more than speak, agreeing almost with his interlocutor in almost everything and demonstrating a genuine interest in the topic of conversation. The manipulator's speech is replete with benevolent intonations and meaningful pauses. You should be alarmed if the interlocutor prefers not to talk about himself, but, on the contrary, in every way provokes you to be frank. After all, the desire to express one’s opinion is absolutely normal for any person.
2
Avoid mirrors. Mirroring is one of the basic principles of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). This method allows you to position the person you are talking to, arouse his trust and quickly establish contact. However, not everyone uses it for good purposes. If you notice that your communication partner is trying to reproduce your gestures, postures, speaking style, or even your breathing rate, then you should be careful and avoid excessive frankness.
3
Check by failure. An experienced manipulator is a charming and pleasant person. Therefore, during a conversation it can be difficult to realize that he simply wants to use you. If any suspicions crept into your head, answer his request with a categorical refusal. This technique in psychology is called "breaking the pattern." Indeed, most likely, they expect from you indecision, doubt, and, possibly, instant consent. A solid “no” will help to remove the mask of goodwill from the manipulator and reveal its true intentions. So, the interlocutor can begin to dramatize the situation, painting the negative consequences of your decision, or appeal to his previous positive experience. In any case, an attempt to impose certain views on you or a vision of the situation is a clear sign of manipulation.