For many people there is nothing more difficult than asking for help. They can completely lose control over the situation and understand that they can’t cope, but admitting this to themselves and asking others to help is an impossible burden for them. It is important to be able to ask for help when you really need it.
Instruction manual
one
It should be understood that help is something that not only you need. When a person helps someone, it’s good for him, and not just for someone whose position he improves. If people helped each other more often, they would be kinder. But help is only good that is done wholeheartedly. To help you from the heart, you need to ask for help accordingly. In no case can you demand, scandal, threaten, manipulate and so on.
2
Think about what kind of help you need. If you know this for sure, it will be much easier to solve your problem. Often people themselves do not understand what they need, they exhaust others who cannot help them, even if they want to, because they also do not understand what is better to do. Soberly assess your situation and think about what kind of help you want to ask for.
3
When making a request to a person, start with a statement of your situation. Explain your position so that it can be understood. No need to dive into the description of emotions that engulf you. No matter how you try to calm down, it will still be noticeable when you begin to describe your situation. And only then tell what kind of help you need.
4
When asking a person for help, choose your words carefully. Your request should not have demanding intonation, as if you were ordering. But appealing words are also not needed, help does not imply that the one who asks should be humiliated.
5
If you turn to a man for help, then try to speak more clearly and more logically, operate on facts. When you ask a woman for something, you can allow yourself to show more emotions, but not in the sense that you can have a tantrum. It's just that women better understand feelings, they will more likely understand your feelings and realize that you need help through empathy.
6
When you ask a person for help, leave him the opportunity to refuse so as not to offend you. Help should not be requested, and if they help you, then this should not happen because you put the person in unbearable conditions in your own words or actions. If you have such a habit, then you run the risk of being left without friends or loved ones, since few people will like this treatment.
Useful advice
Not all people can help you. If you were refused, this could happen for a variety of reasons: a person is not able to do what you ask him for, he does not have time or resources, your problem did not seem serious to him or something else: it does not matter. Never scold or reproach someone who cannot but wants to help you. Just accept this and think about what else you can do, how you can solve the problem in another way: maybe someone else can help you.