Many people, even those who hold high posts who have to give speeches and presentations to employees and subordinates, experience inexplicable fear and timidity when coming into contact with a stranger. What can be done in such a situation?
Instruction manual
one
First of all, it is necessary to abstract from the situation or recognize the latter as commonplace. Ask yourself a few questions:
What is essentially happening?
Why am I afraid to come up and talk to a person?
What will happen if I do this?
What happens if I give up my intention?
Define your goal:
Why would you meet this person?
Why would this person get to know you?
However, remember that at the first stage - overcoming shyness and fear of acquaintances - your goal is to train communication skills. Treat the situation as a process of personal growth.
2
The first thing to do is to "banalize" the situation. Indeed, you are going to do what hundreds of thousands of people do daily. People get to know each other, people communicate and part. Remember that you are a unique and unique person; you have no less chance of meeting and developing a relationship with a person than anyone else. Remember that even those who are significantly inferior to you by many criteria, from appearance to intellectual development, get to know each other and develop relationships successfully. Repeat to yourself: "if something is available to someone, then this is not difficult for me either!"
3
Change the vector of values. Let's break up persistent template behavior and perception. Any acquaintance on the street, in fact, is a study. Imagine that you are a researcher who studies people's reactions to your behavior. You are not going to get to know a person, but to observe his reaction, emotions and draw conclusions for yourself. This is not at all scary. We live in the XXI century, nobody will hit you with a stone ax and will not sacrifice a pagan deity. Discover the emotional world of the person you came into contact with. Believe me, this is no less exciting than listening to stories about how others did it.
4
Define an object or situation on which to build contact. For example, if a person you like is walking with a dog, then approach him and start talking with the animal, giving him a compliment: “What a cute little dog you are, how smart and well-groomed you are!” Then you can ask the owner or owner questions about where to buy such a puppy, how many puppies of this breed are now worth?.. It is hard to imagine that the owner of the dog will not show interest in communicating with you. Then you can ask the person to send you a link to the site dedicated to this breed, giving him a piece of paper with your email address. Be sure that along with the links we will get a phone number. They are waiting for you!..
5
Join the basic human emotion. If a girl is standing at the exit of the building, waiting for the rain, then start talking to yourself or an imaginary interlocutor about frequent rains at this time of year, and then ask her what she thinks? If she maintains a conversation, then after a couple of minutes you can lend a hand to introduce yourself and offer to go with you under an umbrella. You should naturally be with her along the way
.note
Most importantly, start dating today, right now! Life is short and do not miss its happy moments.
Useful advice
1. Assign a role to a person. Imagine that the person with whom you are going to speak is your old acquaintance, whom you simply have not seen for a long time.
2. Remember that you are not going to get to know each other, but simply to talk and observe the person’s reaction to your words.
3. Ask people, for example, to hold the door when you bring the box from under the TV into the staircase, while releasing remarks about a tight spring or combination lock.
4. Smile. Do not get too close to the person. Keep your palms open.
5. Remember that you just communicate and you don’t need anything from the person, this will generate the necessary non-verbal behavior, suitable meta-messages, and the person will cease to distrust you.