From time to time, we all have to have a difficult conversation with anyone. This may be the resolution of the conflict with the boss, the clarification of relations with relatives, with a loved one. How to prepare for such a conversation in order to conduct it as constructively as possible?
Is it possible to determine the outcome of a difficult conversation in advance
During the competitions of warriors who possessed martial arts techniques, unusual cases sometimes occurred. Experienced warriors faced each other, and after a while one of them announced his defeat. However, the battle itself was not conducted. The essence of this fight is that experienced masters using their intuition can understand in advance whose potential is higher and who will win in the event of a fight. And if this is understandable, then why waste energy when they can be directed to further improvement and training.
Complicated conversation is in many ways similar to such a duel. If you look from the side at a difficult conversation with someone, in many cases you can predict the result in advance. However, if we ourselves are participants in this event, then usually we may not understand not only the outcome, but also the other nuances of the upcoming negotiations. Is it possible to learn to use your intuition in the way that martial artists did?
There is a way to not only preview the most likely outcome of a complex conversation in advance, but also outline different strategies, depending on which one can become the most constructive.
Look at the situation as it would happen
You will need some time. Imagine the situation from the side, as if you were an outside observer. You can imagine yourself and the person with whom you have a difficult conversation at arm's length. Sometimes in such cases, psychologists put two chairs and ask to introduce someone to them. Tune in to this situation and look for some time from the side at yourself and at the second interlocutor.
Already at this stage, you can better understand what everyone expects from the conversation, how they will behave, what strategies to use. You can answer these questions. It will also be helpful to jot down these answers.
Now, continuing to observe both parties to the negotiations, look at the communication situation itself. Imagine how this conversation began, so that you can say, so that your interlocutor can answer.
At first, this may seem like a game of imagination. But, if you are attuned to this situation, your intuition will prompt through your imagination how, most likely, the other person will really react to some of your suggestions or comments.
For example, you need to resolve the conflict. Observing yourself and your interlocutor from the side, imagine that you are making some kind of proposal and looking at it. Ask a question, but how would he react to this. You will definitely get a response or even see in your imagination its expected reaction. Does he agree? Does he have any objections?
It is our intuition that plays a role. Can we feel how the event will potentially develop? It is important here to distance oneself from one’s hopes, fears and anxieties and simply to listen impartially to oneself.
Sometimes we may not see or feel the answer. Then you need to ask, and if I knew how he would react, what would it look like?
With some training, you can learn to be so observant of your intuition that it will be possible to easily anticipate the course of a complex conversation and even track which proposals will be accepted and which won't.