The ability to find solutions that are beneficial for both parties will always be useful in personal life and in business. The main thing is to understand the essence of the compromise. A compromise is the resolution of a situation in which the interests of two people or groups intersect through mutual concessions. Pay attention to the word "reciprocal"!
In any controversial situation, ask yourself the question: "What is more important for you: win the dispute or keep the relationship?"
Speak softly and calmly, but with confident intonation. No need to raise your voice, but you can’t mumble either. Do not threaten or blackmail your opponent. Threats will make your interlocutor angry and a constructive dialogue will fail.
In the art of compromise, two extremes should be avoided: excessive compliance and total intransigence. 1) Constantly adjusting to the desires of others, we dig a hole for ourselves, which sooner or later we will fall into. Do not forget that everything has its borders, including moral principles, which are extremely undesirable to cross. 2) On the contrary, if you are extremely stubborn and do not move a millimeter from the decision, people will begin to shy away from you.
Both of these extremes carry a sign of self-doubt, which we are trying to compensate for with our behavior. Be sure to work on your self-esteem. Only by respecting yourself will you respect others.
Do not strive to win a "complete victory." If your opponent does everything “your way”, then he will surely hold a grudge against you. Be sure to give something in return so that both of you can feel like winners.
In search of a compromise, you need to think more not about your interests, but about the interests of your opponent. What can you do to satisfy them? What can you offer in return? What are the alternatives? What is the ultimate goal of the person you are trying to negotiate with?
Do not forget about your own goal. Try to separate the grain from the chaff. What is really important for you, and what you are willing to sacrifice for the common good.
For example, you want to go to the theater tonight, and your young man is going to watch a football match with your favorite team. The situation is not the most difficult, but very common. We complicate it by the fact that you want to spend this together. Take the lead in compromise. Offer to peacefully discuss the controversial issue and come to a mutual decision.
1) Give your point of view, explain your position:
- This is a very strong performance that you have long dreamed of getting into.
- You have already bought tickets
- Football can be seen on the record, but the performance is not
2) Listen to the point of view of your opponent. In our example, this could be:
- This match is decisive and he wants to know the results live
- He agreed to watch football with friends
- He doesn’t really like the theater, and football is “our everything”
3) Discuss what concessions you are willing to make, and listen to the opponent’s proposal. Suppose a young man finds a way to return or exchange tickets and promises to go to the theater with you next weekend. And you can offer him a way to "harmlessly" cancel a meeting with friends and follow the result of the match online or see part of it during the intermission.
4) If it turned out to agree on one of the options, then this is wonderful. If not, then you can use the third option - everyone will do what he wanted to do, and the meeting will be rescheduled for another day. You will find a companion or companion for your cultural trip, and the young man will enjoy the match. This is better than being together and sulking at each other.