The warmth and help given by parents is indispensable. Why, sometimes, hyper-custody can spoil the life of both children and the parents themselves?
Parental instinct lays in the person an irresistible desire to take care of his child from the first days of birth. A newborn child, of course, is absolutely helpless and will not survive without assistance. As they grow older, parental care is needed less and less. The child gradually learns to dress independently, monitor his hygiene, and learn to stand in conflict for himself. In adolescence, a person begins to form that character and those social skills that will remain with him for life. And at this age, a person needs parental help and advice: “talking in a manly way” between a son and a father, transferring “female tricks” from mother to daughter. In a word, parental help does not leave us until the very old age of the parents themselves.
What can lead to hyperprotection on the part of parents and how does this happen?
Threats to an early age.
At a young age, excessive custody does much more harm than any other. It is to an unconscious child that too caring parents put into their heads the idea of "you are the best with us!". It was then that the loving mother and father rush headlong to the child at the first slightest danger or whim. The early age (0-7 years) of an overly ward person is overshadowed by the difficulties of socialization and parental mental violence. However, psychological violence often develops into physical violence. Oddly enough, single mothers raising children without fathers most often use physical violence against their own children.
Such a child goes to school with a system of values established in his small world: mother is the center of the universe. Mom punishes and praises, Mom can do anything. I am the best, because mother said so.
A terrible shock awaits such a child at school: in the classroom there are two dozen of the same ones who are “best of all”. Here the child is faced with a brutal reality: with virtually no communication skills and behavior in society, he may well become an outcast of the children's team. The opposite situation is also possible: having formal authority in the class (for example, as an excellent pupil), an overly ward student does not have real authority and friends among peers.
Teenager onwards
In adolescence, the crisis of socialization deepens: a person simply did not learn the basics of relationships. It is at the age of 14-18 years that a complete lack of responsibility, lack of will, lack of initiative are manifested. After all, “loving” parents from childhood suppressed any initiative, they also solved all the problems, albeit not serious.
In the worst case scenario, an adult child can become a burden for parents until their last days. Without creating a family, having no work, such a person will remain forever with his beloved mom and dad. And this is not a psychological abstraction. Take a look around: there are similar families in every home.