Distrust causes constant tension, tension or alertness in any relationship, provokes conflicts. As if he says: "Do not relax in the presence of this person." It is impossible to give advice - do this and that, and you will trust any person 100%. To cope with your distrust, you need to conduct a small audit of your feelings, to understand your own ideas about the world and about yourself.
Instruction manual
one
Analyze what your distrust means to you. Most often, it seems that it protects, protects against something that you are not going to experience again (or even for the first time). You do not want to survive the pain, so you are afraid to fully open up to your partner, rely on him, trust and relax in a relationship with him. Fear of opening up, being deceived again can corrode relationships that, on the contrary, you want to correct and improve.
2
Take responsibility for your own feelings. Suspicion, suspiciousness, fear, doubt arise in you. And none of those around is responsible for your feelings. You are responsible. Fighting feelings, as well as fighting distrust, is futile. This is your natural reaction to what is happening. Accept it and do not expect from others that they will take you under the wing and will never cheat. Soundly evaluate the capabilities and "talents" of others.
3
Review your view of the obligations of others to you and your own: what do they owe you, what does your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend owe you? And what do you owe them? It is unlikely that someone even from the closest people made a commitment to fully protect your peace of mind. Reduce your expectations for others - they cannot and should not justify them. Nor can you justify the expectations of other people.
4
Learn to accept your loved ones as they are. Accept their independence and autonomy. Believe in the best qualities of loved ones, in difficult situations, think about their good and strengths, not mistakes. Attracting positive experiences is a good way to overcome distrust. A very effective way is also the mental wish of good to a person whom you do not trust - this will reassure you and add positive to the situation.
5
Develop confidence in yourself, value yourself for your qualities, engage in your development - i.e. switch attention from another to yourself. Distrust arises from the uncertainty that you will be able to cope with an unpredictable situation or with the one you are afraid of. The reason is not so much in the behavior of another person whom you no longer trust, but in your fear of pain, disappointment and unjustified expectations. Improve your stress tolerance and independence. Clearly outline the circles of your influence. You should understand what you can influence and what you cannot change. You cannot change another person or the past, for example.
6
Also learn to accept life situations and then let them go into the past. To accept is to admit the possibility of their existence. To let go means to be able to say goodbye. It often happens that a loved one has changed a long time, and you are not able to cope with your own distrust, you are still worried about what happened. So, at these moments it is important to say to yourself: yes, it happens bad in life, but it passes. It is important to be glad that you also went through this stage, survived, and managed. And live in the present.