Becoming a messenger of bad news is not an easy task. Faced with someone else's misfortune, many experience an unconscious sense of guilt, pity, embarrassment. However, this gamut of feelings prevents one from focusing on the main task and presenting negative information in the least traumatic way for the interlocutor.
Instruction manual
one
Get ready for yourself. Learning about the loss, a person goes through several stages: first, the phase of denial, then the emotional stage, a period of humility and, finally, recovery. The greater the loss, the more time is required to realize it. Therefore, a person can go through these steps in one minute, but it happens that it takes years. In any case, when preparing to communicate bad news, know that you will have to go through the first stage with your interlocutor - denial. Its duration depends on how correctly you present the news.
2
Prepare an interviewee. Try to establish visual and tactile contacts. If the relationship is close enough, hug or pat on the shoulder. Say openly that you brought bad news. This will help tune the person in the right way. He will have time to prepare mentally and perceive the message more adequately. Start with factual information, avoiding event descriptions with all the details, vivid epithets and your own comments.
3
Be close. Hearing the bad news, a person is plunged into a stressful state. The inevitable stage of denial is expressed in “stunnedness”: you lose eye contact, the person seems to lock himself inside, can leave the room or, conversely, hide in the far corner. Let the interlocutor come to his senses, realize the reality of what is happening, do not break the silence. Be prepared to answer the questions “Do you know exactly?”, “Are you sure?” Several times etc.
4
The next phase is emotional. At this moment, the person is in a state of affect, ready to blame and destroy everything around him. Such aggression can be directed against one's own personality, so it is worth making sure that the recipient of bad news does not harm himself or others. Very often, anger develops into a lingering tantrum. If the loss is really great, then it is worth letting a person express their pain and bitterness with tears. However, if the condition does not improve, then you may need the help of a specialist - a psychologist or a psychotherapist.
5
Feel free to offer all possible assistance. However, adequately evaluate your own strengths and resources. So, you should not promise more than you are able to do. Sometimes words of support, sincere sympathy and willingness to take on small cares mean much more than your material capabilities. But you should not go to the other extreme, trying to arrange everything yourself, fussing and not letting a person come to their senses. Respect the feelings of the interlocutor, show sensitivity and understanding.