Self-love is a sore topic, which is difficult to find an answer. The Internet is replete with articles on this topic, but there are very few clear recommendations among them. A person who reads blurry tips gets even more confused. Only specific techniques explaining how to love yourself are outlined below.
To begin with, you should understand what love for yourself is and how to feel it. How to understand whether it is or not? There are several characteristic features.
A man loves himself when:
- she doesn’t even wonder, “Do I love myself?”;
- most of the time is in harmony with oneself;
- it never occurred to him to find fault with himself;
- does not suffer from guilt or remorse - he approves of anyone;
- criticism of others does not cause feelings and depression;
- he himself does not criticize anyone;
- often in a good mood;
- happy to help others, to make happy, to please;
- little things in life and everyday problems do not unsettle him.
Many people confuse self-love with selfishness, self-centeredness, pride and pomp. But these are completely different things. Self-love is a calm state, the absence of dislike, self-criticism and internal contradictions. This is when a person does not need anyone for happiness, he is pathologically independent of things. He is good with himself and good in society with people, he is inwardly good in any environment, because he is at home - and this is the best company.
Egocentrism, in turn, often manifests itself as a desire to prove to oneself and to others how wonderful a person is and how much he loves himself. Self-love is a long internal work.
It’s important to understand how it all began
There are people who love themselves initially, by default, from birth to the present. This happens in two cases:
- Since childhood, parents have suggested that he is the best, that he is well done.
- In adulthood, there is one or more people who support and praise, thereby fueling self-confidence. For example, a woman worships a woman. If this happens for a long time, then the girl herself begins to believe that she is pretty.
If you see an adult self-sufficient person who "made himself", without any moral support from the outside, know that he is for himself the very support. He carried out internal work with him, removed his kompleks like weeds.
It is important to determine at what point you feel psychological discomfort. Identifying the source of dislike will help to permanently eliminate this problem by working with a psychologist. You yourself can help yourself with the help of simple and understandable techniques. Each of them is effective in its own way.
Affirmations
These are not just the words you pronounce. These are words of conviction that carry the necessary semantic load. For example, say to yourself in a bright affirmative form, "I'm doing everything right!". At this moment, try to believe in what has been said. Affirmations are compiled and selected individually. Choose those that respond in your soul. Repeat phrases as often as possible, at any opportunity. You can start right in the morning in front of the mirror. Tell yourself how you look good.
Strength Focus
Each person has a lot of positive features. Find them in your home and each time remember how much good is in you. Try to find something new and beautiful in yourself every day and replenish the list of your advantages. Pay attention only to the pros. Flaws do not notice, skip, ignore.
Absolute acceptance
Approve everything in yourself! This applies to appearance and behavior. Remember that standard beauties were invented and imposed by someone, but in reality they do not exist. And actions and behavior in general cannot be evaluated unequivocally, because everyone has their own truth. Even when you act “wrong, ” for some reason you do it. There is always a personal motive, therefore human behavior is always justified by something.
Thought control
Observe what you think during the day. Better write it down. So an indicative picture of the internal state of man looms. Catching thoughts is not so simple, but it is a matter of habit. When you learn, then proceed to the second stage - filter your thoughts and remove negative judgments. As soon as self-criticism or guilt appears, immediately force them out of your head, repeating affirmations.
Posture
As you know, notorious people look like a question mark: stoop, hunch, shoulders lowered, look dull. If you feel the same way or see a similar reflection in the mirror, then simply straighten your back. This is an ambulance technique. When uncertainty arises, balance your posture and you will feel better. This method helps out when communicating with influential people and characters who seek to humiliate and laugh at you.
Conversation with the Inner Child
Another interesting technique aimed at turning inward. Psychologists say that all adults actually remain children. And childhood injuries do not go anywhere. They hide in the depths of their souls, disguise themselves, but do not disappear without a trace. And you need to work with them. Divide yourself mentally in two: into an adult and a child. Both characters are you. Now you, an adult, talk to yourself as a child. Ask what worries the baby, why he is sad, what he is afraid of, whom he loves and who is not and why … Questions can be any. The main thing is that they lead to key answers. You, a child, sincerely answer all questions, being sure that you are facing the closest person you can trust. Such a conversation can clarify and unravel a lot of internal conflicts.
Attention to the inner voice
Trust your senses 100 percent. You are the real one! Listen to your intuition, pay attention to your feelings. Never before has an inner voice failed anyone. On the contrary, this is the key to your truth. Make time for this daily. At least 10 minutes, stay in silence, alone with yourself.
You should not perform all the techniques at once. First choose the ones you like and practice them. Then move on to others. Inner work and finding harmony do not endure fuss.