Too flexible character, inability to say no often leads to a sad result - people simply start using such a person, calling him a "rag", "junk" and other offensive epithets. If you also constantly obey, do not have the right to vote, you are burdened by the current situation, it is time to move on to decisive actions that change the usual positioning.
You will need
- - a mirror;
- - subscription to the pool or gym.
Instruction manual
one
Analyze the situation, answer yourself the following questions: is it difficult for you to refuse anyone? Do you consider yourself too soft flexible person? Do the people around you know about this and use your character traits? Do you even make hard-to-fulfill promises and strive to fulfill them at all costs, sometimes to the detriment of yourself and your family? If you answered yes to most of these questions, the situation is really very serious.
2
Learn to refuse tactfully. When considering a specific situation, find a reason that prevents you from saying no. Most likely, this is a fear of offending a person, thoughts that he cannot cope without your help, etc. In fact, all these beliefs are only partially true. The petitioner can always find another way out of the situation - for example, contact someone else. As regards resentment, it will most likely be, but if the petitioner is your friend or loved one, then he will most likely understand that you are not obliged to constantly please him that you can have your own affairs and problems.
3
Say no, justifying the refusal with truly compelling reasons. For starters, you can practice in front of the mirror. Your refusal should sound solid, not guilty or angry. Remember that you did not conclude a contract and have the full right to manage personal time at your discretion.
4
When refusing anyone, do not make excuses, since you have promised nothing to anyone. If a person begins to manipulate you and be indignant, ask why you do not want or cannot satisfy his request, ask why you should do this?
5
Practice being solid on the little things. Does someone out of habit ask for money from you? Answer that your finances are tight right now. Are you tired of an endless dialogue with a talkative friend? Say that you have little time and you need to go, etc. By learning to refuse small, you will help yourself say a solid "no" in more serious situations.
6
Increase self-esteem. Incomplete people who do not believe in themselves are usually afraid to say no. Take care of yourself, find an interesting hobby, sign up for any courses, buy a subscription to the pool or gym, etc. Make your life saturated and interesting - so that you do not have time to fulfill other people's whims and doubts about the correctness of the decisions made.
7
Of course, having learned to say no, you should not always do this. Willingly help friends, your loved ones and just strangers - when you really need it. But be prepared to refuse if the asker's plans are contrary to your intentions and interests.
Useful advice
Do not be afraid to lose friends - those who really value you as a person, and not because you are constantly doing work for them, will not leave you. If someone is offended, begins to get angry, set some conditions for the continuation of the relationship, then he is most likely not worth your friendship.