A couple of compliments can cheer up any person, especially if they are said by a person whose opinion is important to you. So at work, the praise of the boss, even stingy with eulogies, can cause an attack of workaholism among his subordinates. But it so often happens that we are not able to respond to a compliment. And instead of being happy with him, we begin to feel shy and bashfully keep silent.
Instruction manual
one
The reasons that prevent a person from enjoying a compliment are only five:
A man sincerely believes that he does not deserve praise;
He thinks a compliment is a disguised manipulation;
The person does not care about the opinion of the person who made the compliment;
He is afraid that a compliment will oblige him to something;
Finally, a person may simply not like being in the spotlight.
2
The mechanisms of a kind of "protective" response are as follows:
In order to distract attention from his person, a person can immediately give a response compliment, and without much sincerity;
A person simply understates his merits with the words: “Anyone in my place could do it” or “Nothing special” or “I accidentally did it”;
What is most unpleasant, the effect of a compliment can be "killed" by response remarks, talking about our mistakes and shortcomings.
3
This may sound paradoxical, but a person who aloud said that it was not difficult for him to write an annual report during the night or give half his salary for his wife’s handbag, at heart can be proud of his achievements. Why is he doing this? It’s hard to say, but most likely in childhood from adults he often heard phrases like: “Do not be conceited, ” “If I were you, I would be more modest” or “You are nothing.”
4
Do not ignore the praise and compliments, trying to pass them past your ears. But one should not be too proud, perceiving the praise of others for the greatest achievement in life.
5
If you don’t know how to adequately respond to other people's compliments, just memorize the phrase “I have every right to accept praises and compliments. The person who pronounces them does it voluntarily without any coercion. And I also have the right to rejoice when people like me myself or what I do. " Repeat this phrase in your mind as often as possible, and you will be able to appreciate the compliments of others and respond to them.
6
Even if it seems to you that the compliment is somewhat exaggerated, just take it as a purely personal point of view of the person who praises you. And he already has the right to see you in pink.
7
If you don’t know how to respond to a compliment, memorize a few standard phrases such as: “Thank you for the compliment”, “Very kind of you, thank you”, “Thank you, you are very kind.” Here you can not explain. Just do not scatter these phrases and compliments without looking back, lest you be mistaken for the heroine of the famous Krylov fable about a rooster and a cuckoo. A compliment should be appropriate, as should a reaction to it.
eight
And if it’s hard for you to accept compliments, then you have to work on your self-esteem. Apparently, it is much lower for you. Love yourself and you can not only respond to compliments, but also enjoy every day.