Faced with the fact that you raise your voice, unfortunately, from time to time everyone has to. Confrontation can occur in transport and in the store, in the cinema and in the restaurant, at home and at work. A mother-in-law screaming in rage and turning to elevated tones is no different from a noisy saleswoman or a hysterical stairwell neighbor - all these people simply have no right to yell at you. Your task is to make them understand this.
Instruction manual
one
Change what you can change. You cannot control the emotional intensity and tone of another person’s voice, but you can influence them using the simplest psychological techniques. In a conversation with a person who started yelling at you, in no case do you need to speak louder, on the contrary, slow down the pace of speech and lower your voice. Speak confidently, firmly, but quietly and slowly.
2
Ignoring the screaming person, you only exacerbate the situation, capitulate and show your weakness. Stop any action that you take when someone dares to raise your voice. Even if you drive, and one of the passengers decided to bark at you, park and show that the screamer managed to attract your attention and you are not afraid of further events and are not hiding from his stormy emotions.
3
Look a screaming person in the eye. If you lower your head or look away, the aggressor will decide that you are ashamed or that his insults have reached their goal. If you look at the screaming person with polite interest, he begins to feel more and more stupid.
4
Reduce the "passions", invite the screamer to sit down, if he is worth it, call someone to take part in your conversation, offer the screaming person to drink water, but do not order, namely offer. Switch his attention.
5
Just ask the screamer to stop. Invite him to lower his tone and stop attracting everyone's attention. Say that you will speak with him when he is ready for this - "I need you to speak slowly and clearly so that I can hear your arguments and understand your point of view, maybe you will try to speak quieter?"
6
Do not take the tirades of the screaming person at your own expense. As a rule, a screaming person tries to tear off his accumulated irritation on you, you are only an “outlet”, but not the reason. Even if they shout at you because you really did something wrong, the aggressor does not respond to you personally, but to the situation that happened earlier.
7
Resort to someone's help if the screaming person becomes more and more aggressive. In America, in this case, 911 calls, and the Russians have to rely only on themselves. If the mother-in-law screams at you, call your husband or close friend, let the “concert-giving” lady understand that she has “listeners” other than you. Dial the boyfriend's phone if the neighbor dared to raise a voice at you. In the case of an inadequate person on the street, a call to the police may work. In public places, you need to turn to protection - it is their task to monitor the order in the territory.
eight
If the screaming person does not want to calm down, leave. Do not enter into dialogue, do not explain your actions, just turn your back and go about your business. If you have been raised on the phone, hang up. The interlocutor was the first to break the rules of good form and you are not required to be a good guy in this situation.