How to deal with the desire for revenge

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How to deal with the desire for revenge
How to deal with the desire for revenge

Video: What To Do With Revenge, Anger and Betrayal 2024, July

Video: What To Do With Revenge, Anger and Betrayal 2024, July
Anonim

Sometimes a desire for revenge appears even in very good-natured people. Because of the insult, a person can get very angry. Before deciding on any action, think about what revenge will give you.

Understand the situation

Revenge will not bring you anything good. Do not expect to be satisfied after doing harm in response to the person who offended you. Disappointment, bitterness, emptiness and regret - that is what you will most likely feel after taking revenge.

To abandon your plans, look at what happened on the other side. Of course, there is no excuse for deliberate cruelty, but you could not fully understand the situation.

Sometimes people interpret the actions of others incorrectly. Be objective and calmly sort out your position. Firstly, a person could offend you by accident. After all, you probably also found yourself in a situation where you become guilty without guilt.

Secondly, a person could have his own motive for harming you. Then there was a conflict of interest. This happens, and it is not always possible to demand a fair decision. But think, in fact, having revenge on the offender, you can unleash a real war between you.

It is unlikely that such a way to find out the relationship will bring something good to both parties.

Show mercy and kindness. Forgive the person with all my heart. Do this not for his sake, but for yourself. After all, keeping anger and resentment in your heart, you live in captivity of negative emotions. Your thoughts revolve around an item that is not worth your attention.

Talk

If possible, talk with the person who hurt you. Find out the relationship, but calmly, without scandal. Explain what, in your opinion, he was wrong. Have the patience to listen and the other side.

Maybe you will compromise and satisfy your needs. Agree, getting an apology and admitting a mistake is much nicer than making a person suffer and taking the blame for the harm done to him in response.

If you do not want to meet with your abuser, share the problem with a friend or loved one. Speak out. Perhaps the words of comfort and support will become some kind of compensation to you. Sometimes a person, having received confirmation of his innocence and seeing that the one whom he trusts is in solidarity with, calms down.

Take a break

It happens that talking to a person is not possible. Then the only way to get rid of obsessive thoughts about revenge is to distract. Release the situation, switch to another object. Do something useful.

Physical activity helps to get rid of negative, destructive desires very well. Go to the gym and work out on a treadmill, beat a punching bag, go to a dance class, or sign up for a yoga lesson.

A long walk will also help you calm down.

Visualization

The following visualization method will help get rid of thoughts of revenge. Imagine how you take revenge on a person you hate. Think over all the details. You can take a sheet of paper and pour out your negative emotions.

Imagine the abuser in an unsightly light or draw a caricature of him. Compose a story that happened to him and made you regret your own words or actions that hurt you. If you feel relieved, tear all the leaves and forbid yourself to think about this situation.

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