The period of the appearance of the baby can safely be called a crisis for the whole family. At this time, relations between the spouses are being reconstructed. Now they are not just husband and wife, but also father and mother. The acquisition of a new status carries many difficulties.
Reevaluation of own childhood
Almost always at birth, a young mother overestimates her personality. Often, she analyzes the lives of her parents, especially mothers. Someone begins to understand them better, and someone on the contrary - more to blame for something. If a woman already in adulthood has some kind of childish resentment against her own parent, then at the birth of her baby her psychological condition may worsen. Children's injuries contribute to the fact that a young mother forms inadequate requirements for herself, expectations from her baby and husband. In most cases, the woman herself is not aware of her motives, even if they are clearly visible to others. For example, those who did not have enough attention from their parents in childhood begin to patronize their baby too much.
In this situation, the psychologist will help the young mother to see herself from the outside, to realize the motives of her own behavior. And this will allow her to manage her life and raise her child intelligently. After all, if a woman acts consciously, then she takes responsibility for the life of her baby, and not just "goes with the flow." Only in this way is she firmly and comfortably affirmed in the status of "mother."
The acquisition of a conscious model of education
Another aspect in which a psychologist will help a young mother to understand is the elimination of automatisms in relation to her child. It is very common that women who have been subjected to physical punishment in childhood refuse to beat their child. But everything is not so simple. It is worth the excesses of emotions, and the hand itself gives the baby a slap in the face. Later, thinking over everything, the young mother realizes that she is doing wrong, begins to blame herself and promises not to do so anymore. Just a little promise. The mechanisms laid down in us by our parents are very strong. When the intensity of emotions is maximum, they are automatically included in the action. To fix this, to find a new model of education, a lot of psychological work is needed. Just reading books is not enough. It is necessary to regularly analyze with a psychologist all situations in which a mother cannot manage to behave the way she wants. The specialist will also help relieve feelings of guilt for their mistakes, which greatly facilitates the relationship with your own baby and yourself.
It is especially important to overcome undesirable automatic patterns of parental behavior during periods of age-related child crises. It is then that children become hard-educated and naughty. The essence of age crises will be explained by a psychologist. After all, they are called normative because almost all children go through them at certain age stages — this is about 3, 7, and 10 years old.