The inability to refuse a request often becomes the reason that you have to do work for another and do something that is unpleasant or not necessary for you. Sometimes it seems inconvenient to say “No” to a person and refuse to ask him because you are afraid to offend him. Sometimes such educated and delicate people become victims of manipulators who use these wonderful qualities of character, extracting their selfish benefit from them.
Instruction manual
one
Very often manipulators are used by those who have such a weakness - dependence on other people's opinions. If you always look back at others in your actions, think about “what people will say, ” you are a potential victim. You simply cannot fail to refuse a request that you do not have to and do not want to fulfill, just because you are afraid to disappoint others.
2
This dependence on the opinions of others is a consequence of self-doubt and doubts about the value of your personality. Start building self esteem. You yourself and your affairs, your work and life should come first. This does not mean that you refuse to help the weak and provide support to those who really need it. But for everyone else, you should find the word "No."
3
Think about the harm that inability to refuse a request does. You can take on the performance of some business that you can’t afford, and let the person who relied on you. Or you will solve someone else's problem while your urgent matters remain unfulfilled. No one will be of any benefit from your selflessness.
4
Refuse those requests, the implementation of which is associated with a violation of your principles, even simply with reluctance. Try to explain to the person why you do not want to do this. You yourself will see when he does not want to take these arguments into account. Such behavior of the supplicant will demonstrate to you convincingly enough that the person does not want to enter your position, it requires this from you.
5
Stop being the one you use, establish your personal territorial boundaries and do not allow outsiders to invade those who use you without giving anything in return. Do not explain the reasons for the refusal, it is enough to say "No. I can not, I have other plans." There is no need to apologize - you have your own life and you solve your problems. The more concise your refusal, uttered in a friendly but peremptory tone, the less questions you will have. Such a refusal will indicate that you are not rejecting the person himself, but you are refusing to decide things for him.