Manipulators are everywhere: the boss threatens to be fired for delay, the seller hints that the goods are “flying away”, friends are asking for help for the hundredth time in a week. And in every situation, you need to be able to repel the attack and respond correctly. It is much more difficult when relatives begin to manipulate, and special training is required here.
Instruction manual
one
Do not let the command. Very often people of power by nature simply cannot stop themselves: they interfere in all matters, knowing better how to do the right thing, with whom to be friends and in general the answers to all questions. Such peremptory intervention should be stopped every time, until the home manipulator understands that it is better to teach someone else's life.
2
Do not let flattery. Another favorite extreme of skillful manipulation is open sneakiness and flattery. First there are rave reviews about your achievements, songs of praise and applause, and a little later, as if by the way, a request for an unplanned purchase or solution to global problems follows.
3
Do not feel a sense of duty. Of course, everyone loves their loved ones and feel responsible for their future. Nevertheless, the motive for caring and other duties should be sincere love and your own desire to do something. Not all requests should be fulfilled every minute, but somewhere you need to be able to refuse. Help loved ones from the heart, and not under duress.
4
Eliminate the feeling of pity for nothing. Manipulators like to pretend to be poor and unhappy, and the reason for their adversity is the surrounding evil people and difficult life circumstances. If the habit of complaining about a difficult fate has been formed for a long time, communication can turn into torture and endless discussion of the circle of unresolved problems.
5
Listen to wishes, not accusations. In situations where a misunderstanding occurs or an unseemly act is committed, an apology and a joint solution to the problems must be sought. Endless reproaches can only become an incitement to the repetition of an unpleasant incident and indicate a desire to again and again experience the role of a righteous victim. Every person has the right to make a mistake, and those who like to emphasize other people's flaws are, in practice, endowed with them to a greater extent.
6
Consider your interests. Another favorite trick of manipulators is to impose their interests and skillfully present them as common, joint goals. Analyze the arguments: is the proposed action plan, so colorfully outlined by a loved one, will change your life for the better. Be vigilant, and if instead of a valuable idea you are simply presented with a veiled whim, calmly and firmly refuse.