This is a disease that is familiar to those who have alcohol or drug addiction in their families. Co-dependence leads to the fact that one person begins to completely live the life of another: controls his habits and time, requires a report on each action or decision, prohibits him from leaving home or meeting friends. Co-dependence leads to the fact that a person lives only to control the actions of a loved one, believing that this saves him.
Co-dependents have low self-esteem, believe that they are obliged to help others, and impose this help. In a relationship, they do everything to please the partner, even what he can do himself. They are the victims. Such people cannot live alone, and lose interest in their lives when they fall in love. Sozavisimy - "an unrecognized hero, does not spare himself for others." And embodying this scenario, he will unknowingly choose an alcoholic or drug addict as a partner in order to “save” him all his life.
A person gets co-dependence in childhood if there was an alcoholic, drug addict or other addict in his family. The reason may be excessive control of the child by the parents, and if a person grew up in a healthy family, a long relationship with an alcoholic or drug addict. He considers his co-dependent lifestyle to be natural, and sees the emerging problems as injustice on the part of other people or life in general.
The co-dependence of a family member leads to the fact that the addict has an increased craving for alcohol or drugs, because he does not bear responsibility for himself and knows that he will be “saved”. Everything is forgiven to an alcoholic or drug addict; everywhere he is “covered” by a co-dependent partner who is afraid of shame. As a result, it turns out that wishing to save a loved one, a co-dependent person himself pushes him to collapse. And with him, and yourself.
To cure co-dependence, the first thing a person needs to recognize is the fact that he has it. After this, you should collect more information about the disease, talk on thematic forums or in self-help groups for co-dependents. And it’s very good if you can get an appointment with a psychologist early.