The hero of the series "Clinic" Dr. Cox once said: "All people are scum, watered with scum, with stuffing inside!" Judging by the popularity of this phrase, many agree with it. Yes, people, especially loved ones, often disappoint, but it’s impossible to live in hatred for a long time. At some point, a person realizes that the properties of people are a projection of his own attitude towards them. And then I want to love everyone so that the feeling becomes mutual.
Instruction manual
one
Learn to smile. Yes, yes, "share your smile and she will come back to you more than once." If you cannot go aside or in yourself, emotional responses, with rare exceptions, are always mirrored. In response to the cry, people raise their voice, after sobbing they want to cry, they are annoyed next to the annoyed one. You can argue for a long time about the tension, servility and unnaturalness of the notorious "American smile", but the fact remains: the initial contacts with random people in the West do not leave a burden in the soul, while in Russia they prefer to be rude or assert themselves first, but only then, apologizing, to build relationships.
2
Always remember that in any life experience, you can be cruelly mistaken in people. Even if the hypothetical communication aggressor is really a bastard in life, it is better to remain human and save face than to become like him. Moreover, one should not give in to the first impression, since under the pretense of rudeness or repulsive outcast, the bright soul of a faithful friend or at least a good comrade can be hidden.
3
In every person you can find something good. Absolutely in everyone. Nazi Hitler was an excellent manager and drew well. The lover of bloody orgies Nero was famous for oratory, effectively fought corruption and wrote good poems. Many women would envy the wife of the maniac Chikatilo - for such exemplary non-drinking husbands almost always lined up for centuries. This does not mean that extremes need to be considered, but if vital necessity has reduced you to a complex personality, you shouldn’t spoil your nerves by reflexing and focusing only on its negative traits. Refer to the positive. Suddenly a man seems so bad only because no one has ever said a good word to him?
4
Do not forget that in people the most annoying thing is that you do not like about yourself. With no exceptions. That’s why the work of psychologists and psychoanalysts drags on for many months - a person, suddenly seeing himself from the side “in all its glory”, as others see and know it, almost always becomes inadequate: he is horrified or falls into heavy gloom, maybe become aggressive and uncontrollable, or even attempt suicide. It takes a long time to prepare for reconciliation with oneself and the ability to work on the mistakes of patients. Realizing this, begin to pay attention to the actions that are especially outraging you and the features of other people. Work on yourself, and soon you will notice that people are not as bad as they seemed to you before. Just because you have changed and become better.
5
Charity and volunteering with the appropriate attitude will also serve well for the development of love for people. At first, you may have to force yourself to help those in need free of charge, especially if you have not seen this before. But any habit sooner or later becomes part of the character. Develop a habit of giving away, not wanting anything in return, and it will take quite a while when your friends and acquaintances, in response to someone else’s request to characterize you in one word, confidently say: “He is a philanthropist!”
Useful advice
While cultivating a love of people, remember to respect a sense of proportion. Unnatural, tortured, ostentatious, regime philanthropy will only make the world worse, and will turn you into a complete hater.
- How to love people
- “Enjoyment in People” or How to Love People!
- How to Love People: First Steps for Dummies