There are no ideal people in the world. Any person will definitely have disadvantages - minor or serious. In the first case, it is quite possible to put up with shortcomings. In the second case, they can greatly complicate the life of both the person himself and those people who communicate with him, first of all, his relatives. The problem is that the vast majority of people do not look at themselves from the side and simply do not see the minuses! Own behavior, habits, manners seem correct and natural to them.
Instruction manual
one
First of all, remember that no one is enthusiastic about criticism. Hearing reproaches of bad manners, habits, inappropriate behavior, etc., a person will instinctively begin to defend themselves, making excuses and putting forward counterclaims. Therefore, it is better to act not directly, but in roundabout ways.
2
Keep in mind that the most fair criticism, if expressed in a harsh, tactless form on the verge of rudeness, will not only not achieve the goal, but may lead to the exact opposite result. Therefore, even if you have every reason to be dissatisfied, try to control yourself. Speak in a calm, polite voice, refrain from accusations and personalization.
3
Start by listing the merits and accomplishments of the person whose behavior you want to change. Praise him - surely there is something for that! And then transfer the conversation back on track. And try to lead him in this spirit: "All this is very good, but if you had done so-and-so, or answered so-and-so, it would have been even better!" In this case, a person will see in you not a critic, not an adversary, but a well-wisher who sincerely cares about him, about his interests. And, accordingly, he will treat your words with attention, and will not let them pass by.
4
During the conversation, in every possible way avoid categorical statements such as: "You must, " "I'm sure, " "Believe me, I know better!" etc. Instead, say: “It seems to me, ” “If I'm not mistaken, ” “What do you think?”
5
If you are talking with a person who is much older than you, try to behave especially respectfully, in every way emphasize that you highly value his merits, life experience. If the conversation is with a teenager, in no case do not show neglect, condescension: they say, still small, the milk on the lips has not dried out. Do not forget that in adolescence, due to a sharp change in the hormonal background, many young men and women become painfully selfish, touchy.
6
Try to make a person think that he needs to change. How to achieve this depends on many factors. In any case, remember the words of D. Carnegie: "The best way to make a person do something is to make him want to do it!"