To be part of a huge family is great happiness and great responsibility. Sometimes it’s not easy to please all relatives, each of whom may have their own opinion about your appearance, new job or potential spouse.
Instruction manual
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Show attention to relatives. Those who are especially zealous in giving advice tend to suffer from attention deficits. If this is understood, then it will be easier to realize that when expressing their opinion, they are not always interested in the result: a change in your behavior. Sometimes this is the most acceptable and widespread communication format that allows you to forget about your own problems or a feeling of loneliness for a while. The more attention your relative receives from your side, the less often he will have a desire to teach you and share tips.
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Change the subject. More than anything, people like to talk about themselves. The opportunity to express your opinion is a way to express yourself. But if, instead of listening to arguments that you should change your job or husband, you begin to ask a person about his own life difficulties, then he will forget about you for a long time. And he will be glad to talk about how he lives, how he breathes. Simply switching from teachings and tips to talking about the mentor itself works great if you want to get rid of someone’s notations for a while.
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Understand, but do not accept. Give the person the opportunity to fully, eloquently express their opinion. Do not interrupt at the word. Often people do not go beyond words beyond intent. Having talked about the threat of "talking with the bosses" or "intimidating a neighbor, " your counterpart will soon feel satisfied that he helped you with a word. And he will not interfere in the further course of things. You, meanwhile, can make it clear to a relative that you value his opinion, you understand perfectly why and how it was formed, but you want to do everything as you see fit. Many people who give advice want to speak out, but are not ready to take responsibility for the fact that these recommendations can ruin your life.
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Work on your own self-esteem. People with a healthy sense of self-esteem rarely wonder how they can get rid of pressure from relatives or parents. Reduced self-esteem, on the contrary, makes you dependent not only on relatives who often wish for good, but also on dubious friend-buddies who can manipulate you. Look for those types of activities or self-expression that allow you to feel your own worth. Communicate more often with those who love and value you as they are. And then it will be easier for you not to fall into dependence on the opinions of relatives and friends.