We all dream of being heard. But what if you imagine that you are not only being listened to, but each time you get what you started the conversation directly for? There are several methods that can help you achieve this.
How often do we find ourselves in such situations when it is vital for us to convince the interlocutor of something, influence his decision, incline him to our side. Fortunately, there are aspects that we are able to influence: the mood of the interlocutors and their attitude to the topic of conversation.
Convincing environment
There are a number of fundamental foundations that are important to any conversation.
- Suitable setting. Try to choose a place for conversation, where there will be a minimum number of annoying factors, unless, of course, your goal is to unsettle the person you are talking to.
- Eye contact support. Of course, you don’t need to look closely, because eye contact for longer than 10 seconds can lead to confusion. But avoiding eye contact is also a bad tactic, because such behavior is perceived as an attempt to hide something important.
- Watch your pose. Your posture during the conversation should be open. Do not cross your arms and do not lower your head, or your interlocutor will think that you are not comfortable talking with him. An unobtrusive “mirroring” of the interlocutor’s gestures is also an important trick.
- Be polite and compliment. So that your praise does not look like rude flattery, you should not praise the interlocutor himself, but something expensive for him, for example, his children, his beloved cat or car.
- Build sentences not in accusatory tone, but as "I-messages." Instead: "You're constantly late, I'm tired of it already!" - use the wording: "I am very upset and worry when you are late and do not warn about it. Suddenly something happened." Agree, the difference is significant.
Learn to convince at a subconscious level
So that your interlocutor does not catch you on manipulation, you need to work directly on his subconscious.
The most important weapon of persuasion is the voice. Make sure that it is sonorous, but not excessively loud and high. Try to soften the tone of your voice. To do this, you can use special exercises, which are many on the Internet. Also remember the emotional color: the voice should be with friendly intonations. Do not forget about the smile.
More often call your interlocutor by name.
Use phrases that increase the significance of a person: "I need to know your opinion, " "I want to consult with you, " etc.
Build the conversation so that the most important information is at the beginning and end of the conversation. This information is perceived best.
In order not to look unfounded, putting forward your ideas, reinforce them with life examples. For example, convincing a friend to still have a birthday party, tell me how one of your acquaintances subsequently very regretted not celebrating their anniversary.
It is also important to look interested in the conversation process. Demonstrate reflective listening through the following questions:
- find out the details about the subject that the person is talking about and the tasks of a few clarifying questions;
- try to paraphrase what you heard in your own words to show that you have caught the main idea;
- summarize everything you hear with one phrase;
- try to guess the feelings of the interlocutor and voice them.